Let's Pretend [Niall Horan]

Chapter 23

"Miss Juwie checked it for me.  I had mistakes here," he pointed to the paper at a few words.

I honestly adored that he could not pronounce 'L' correctly.  It was adorable.

"Thomas is on TV!" He hopped off the bed excitedly, dashing out of the room, he headed straight to the TV to watch his favorite TV show, Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends.

He was cute.  I was happy and grateful for him.  But it's so hard.  Not only did I miss Payton, who was supposed to be back from school from America by now, but also the events that had been occurring these past nights had been stressing me out.

Although I dug myself into that pit, I had good reason for it all.

But no matter what, I felt like I was wrong for doing it.

Especially for Harry.

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There was a long pause of silence.  I knew Faith was watching all this.  I didn't want her to have any more stress than she already had.  Niall had explained to me what had happened to her and because I'm a psychologist, I know as a fact that she is not fully cured.  There was so much happening around her, I felt bad.  And to top it all off, Harry liked her.  Why can't he just date her already?  She needed him as much as he probably wanted her.  Why is it me that is in his arms right now?  She needed him more than I needed him.

No – I can't let her watch this.  They were cute.  I want them to be together one day...

Harry pulls me tighter making me immediately take a breath and finally break the silence.

"Harry, I'm engaged," I said, slowly pulling away from him so I could look up at him.

"What,"

"I'm, I'm engaged," I repeated, slower than last time and a bit more confident, trying my hardest not to show any sign that I am lying.  I definitely was a bad lire and that is one thing that Harry, who stood in front of me, definitely knew a lot about.

But I guess that's not the case this time.

The color drained from Harry's face and I immediately felt sick.  He looked pale.  Almost as pale as he looked when I brought a snake into his bedroom when we were 13 year olds.  Of course Suzy the snake was not harmful.  Suzy was a nice little pet snake but Harry still screamed like a girl and told me to kill it.  It was funny.

"I," Harry started to speak but I quickly cut him off before he could tell me anything that would want to make me want to tell him how I really felt.

"I'm happy," I nodded, "You know, with my fiancé... We get on really well..." 

"I'm glad," he smiled.

We weren't 13 anymore but I knew him all too well to know that, that was a completely fake smile.  The smile that was plastered on his face gave me the urge to want to tickle him on the side, or play with his hair so I could see those adorable dimples again.  Those dimples that he had not shown to me since years ago.  But this was different, and I couldn't do anything about it.  Even if it made me feel sick to the stomach just looking at his forced smile, I knew that we would never be as close as we once were. 

I couldn't believe it.  I had to look away before he would notice my nose cringing from lying.  I was just another girl now.  Just from that smile and the look his green eyes had given me, I knew that I wasn't special to him anymore.  Instead of a real Harry Styles smile, I received that fake one that every fan would see on his interviews and photo shoots.  The very same smile that every poster on a teenage girl's bedroom wall had.  The one that doesn't show the real Harry Edward Styles that I once knew so well.  I guess I was just not special anymore.  Even if I was really getting married, which I'm obvioudly not, I knew the old Harry would have been happy for me.  Genuinely and honestly happy for me.  But he wasn't. 

"I just hope one day you'll find someone as special as I have found," I smiled but I was angry.  For some reason I felt a lot more relaxed now.  To know that he really didn't care about me, eased my nerves.  I could hear Faith's little gasp when I told Harry I was engaged, so I knew I was doing the right thing.  They would create a beautiful little couple.  They just needed to stop having me stand between them.  So after I leave tonight, I will hide from Harry all over again.

It was a mistake for me to meet him after so long.  I had kept my distance for such a long time, and I had become so tough.  I can't believe I was foolish enough to let my wall crumble so easily when I ran into him.  After a year of convincing myself that he doesn't need me, I finally proved to myself that he really doesn't need me.  And Faith obvioudly doesn't need me so I was just the odd one out.

"Aria," Harry said softly, taking a step closer to me.

"Don't," I stopped him.  I didn't want to hear it.  I didn't know what he was going to say to me, but what ever it was, I didn't need to hear it.  I got myself out of the equation so I should just leave before I cause any more confusion or drama.

"But,"

"Faith's a good girl.  You and her seem like you guys get on really well," I smiled taking his hand in my smaller ones, "please just ask her out."

He looked down at my hand in his as the bathroom went dead silent.  I almost forgot Faith was in the bathroom stall as I let myself hold his hand for a few seconds before I pulled my hand back.  I couldn't let myself get attached to him again. 

"Aria,"  Harry said as soon as I took my hand back but I once again cut him off.

"She's sweet, kind, caring, and so adorable.  If you don't ask her out, I might as well just ask her out," I choke out a giggle, "what I'm saying is, she's perfect.  Go ahead and give it a go.  You always told me to date people you thought I liked; now it's your turn.  I think you two would be cute, so –,"

My phone started to vibrate in my pocket as I pulled it out of my pocket and see the babysitter, Lilly on the caller-ID.   I knew it was Max calling so I didn't even hesitate to answer the phone,

"I gotta take this," I said then quickly press the phone to my ear, "Hey baby, you okay?"

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It wasn't that I wanted to lie.  It was just that I couldn't get hurt again.  I couldn't think of anything better.  It was stupid and I knew it.   I also knew that the way I answered the call, Harry had assumed it was my "fiancé." 

But that was good, right?

It was the best thing I could do.

I did the right thing.

It was for a good cause.

I have had to keep repeating positive things through my head everyday since that night, but as soon as I let myself off-guard for just one second I would hear other words run through my head.  Ones I didn't want to hear.  Especially 1 certain word, and one 3-letter word...  Something I've wanted to tell him for years...

"Sorry."  And "I love you."

--
I know this was only Aria's POV but I felt like too many of you guys told me you were confused and upset that you did not completely understand her story on what really happened between Aria and Harry so this is why I wrote this chapter. 

Also the comments from you guys on the last chapter made me so happy.  

I read all of them and I love that some of you guys are still so engaged with the characters. 

BEST COMMENTER GETS DEDICATION BTW! :)
This chapter is dedicated to @Datlittlehorangirl. Thanks for the comment! xx

THE GIF ON THE SIDE IS HARRY'S ADORABLE DIMPLES.  GUYS, PLEASE GO AHEAD AND FANGIRL WITH ME.  ASDFGHJKL;