June 3, 2012,
Dear Journal,
I'm not ready to leave my hometown.
I'm inside the Ninoy Aquino International Airport waiting for our flight. My eldest brother, Luis, couldn't come with us because still had some "college crap" to do.
It's been 2 day after my birthday and now I am here in this crowded airport filled with people. My friends, Lauren, Fatimah, Jacque, Francis, Kendrick, Davis and Lisa, were there too see before I leave.
" We're going to miss you " Fatimah says hugging me tightly. Lauren, Jacque and Lisa followed saying in unison " We're gonna miss you too " Jacque and Fatimah broke down in tears still hugging me as for Lauren and Lisa are threatening the boys to hug me. They do which only lasted 5 seconds.
" Boo Bear.." Jacque calls me. Her whole face wet from tears " You better not forget me because if you do I'm really unfollowing you from Tumblr."
I fake a smile but I can feel a tear coming out from my left eye " I'll never forget you guys "
" Attendants for the flight to America the airline personnel will take you now to the entrance "
There is silence between us then we group hug. We break down to tears. Seeing the boys crying is unusual. Lauren goes to Davis' arms crying as he wipes her tears. He is crying. Maybe worried of how his Lauren will be without me. As I leave they hesitate me not to. Kendrick take something out of Francis' big bag which he loves so much. They were three thick envelopes. He hands it over to me.
" Best if you look at them at the plane. " Jacque says
" We don't want to see you break down again. " Kendrick adds as Jacque elbowed him very hard.
" Cameron! Get over here already! " My brother Charlie calls me from several feet away from me. We do another group hug. And then I start following to where Charlie is.
I look back and I see the people who meant the world to me. Lauren in Davis' arms still crying as he caresses her, Fatimah and Jacque waving goodbye, Kendrick and Lisa talking and Francis, my ex but we are still friends, he fakes a smile and waves too. I see a tear coming out and he wipes it quickly.
I am in the airplane and it is freezing cold here somehow. I've never been out of the country before which is scary. I sit beside Mum who looks excited squealing about going to our new home. But I was never excited I was scared and worried. I was scared if the future that will change me. And I was worried for the past that will creep up behind me.
