protea - change; courage

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"Oh my god, Kiyoko."

"Huh?" Said girl looks over at you with attentive eyes. She could tell by the sound of your voice that another one of your rants was coming.

"I can't anymore. I'm so tired," You whine as you plop down in the seat next to her. " I can't do this whole internship thing anymore. Sure, it's a great opportunity but it's not what I want."

Kiyoko turns to you and crosses her legs, "Well then, tell your mother that." You look up at her.

"Are you crazy?! I can't tell her that! She'll pop a blood vessel!" Exasperated, you run your hands through your hair. Ever since your father passed away all of her time and energy, other than running the hospitals, has gone into you and your future continuing the family legacy. Your father was the parent who always paid attention to your wellbeing and wishes. It was because of him that you were complacent with your mother's overbearing tendencies since the day you started schooling. Once your father died, you found it harder and harder to comply.

In all honesty, you didn't want to have such a prestigious job. You wanted to live comfortably and have a job in something you're passionate about. You'd brought the idea up to your mom about wanting to be a florist and have your own shop one day. All she did was scoff and complain about how much your grandmother influenced you. Since then you hadn't mentioned a thing about it.

"You can't just sit there and take what she's dishing out. If you're not happy you should tell her that." The raven-haired woman gently spoke to you. She's been that way ever since you met her during your first year of high school.

"I know that! I'm- I'm just scared," you stare at your scrub-covered lap, "She's kinda the only family I have left and I don't wanna jeopardize that..." You felt the familiar tightness in your chest whenever this was the topic of discussion. It was scary to think about.

"Either you continue to be scared and unhappy or you tell her and see what happens. It feels terrible to sit and wallow in your own fear. You never know how she might react." Kiyoko comforts you, putting an arm around you and pulling you into a hug.

"What would I do without you, Kiyo?" You smile as you hug her back.

"Quite literally the same thing," She laughs.

~

Knocking on the office door, you call out to your mom.

"Mom? Can I talk to you for a sec?" You hear shuffling from the other side of the door before it swings open to show your mom holding various papers.

"Do come in dear. I've been meaning to speak to you anyway." She says walking back toward her desk.

"Now, seeing as you're making such good progress with your internship and the hospital, I've been thinking of some possible positions for you to start with once you finish."

"Mom-"

"There are a few different positions at various hospitals but certain ones are far from Yokohama but I'm sure that's fine." She continues flipping through papers on her desk. You walk forward and put your hand on top of hers to get her attention.

"Mom, I seriously need to talk to you," You plead; afraid that if you don't do it now, you won't at all. She glances up at you giving you a weird look before removing the glasses from her face.

"What's so urgent?" She asks as she crosses her legs. You take a seat on one of the chairs adjacent to her desk.

"Well, it's about my internship. I've been thinking about what I want to do with my future. I don't want to pursue a career in the medical field." You hesitantly speak, glancing up at your mother to gauge her reaction. She's silent for a second before she speaks up.

"Are you still hooked on being a florist?" By the tone of voice she used, you could tell that she wasn't pleased.

"We've been over this already, (Y/n). You're going to get nowhere in life by being a measly little florist! Are you really thinking about your future?"

"I swear I am, Mom! I've been thinking about it for years now! I don't want to be trapped in a profession where I dread going to work; hell, I dread this internship! I want to be truly happy with what I do!" You plead with her.

"For you to drop this on me now of all times! Do you know how ungrateful you sound?!" She stands and throws her papers on the desk.

"I'm definitely not ungrateful! You and Papa have given me such a comfortable life and I really appreciate that! I just wanna choose what I do with my future!" You argue. The atmosphere in the room was steadily becoming more and more suffocating. The anger in your mother's voice caused your throat to tighten and tears to sting the backs of your eyes.

"Please, Mom, I don't want to argue. That's the last thing I want to do with you! All I want is your support!" You say, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

"Do you really expect me to support you wanting to throw your life away?" She asked, giving you an incredulous look.

"I expected the support of my mother!" You sobbed. She really couldn't see that all you wanted was for her to be there.

" Either you quit this ridiculous talk and focus on making something of yourself, or you get out of this house." She speaks in a threatening tone. A baffled look crossed your features when you registered her words.

"A-Are you serious? You're willing to kick me out all because I have a dream?! You're the one being ridiculous here!" The sadness you felt began to melt into anger and frustration. Your mother opened her mouth to speak but you didn't let her.

"I can't believe you! You'd rather kick out your only child than allow her to do what she pleases. I've been scared to truly tell you how I feel since Papa died! I just wanted to be able to confide in you. You're all the family that I have left, Mom! I really don't wanna lose you but if it comes at the cost of my happiness then maybe I should leave." Without hesitation you storm out of the room, slamming the door in the process.

Stomping up the stairs, you pull out your phone and dial Kiyoko's number. You put the phone on speaker while you pulled out suitcases to start packing. She picks up a short moment later.

"Hello?"

"I told her. I did what you said and I told her how I felt but I can't get through to her. All she cares about is me 'throwing my life away,'" You make air quotes even though she can't see you. "She said I either continue with the internship or I get out of the house."

"So what are you going to do?" Kiyoko asks, worry evident in her voice.

"I'm leaving," You plainly state. "She pissed me off. I desperately tried to get her to see that all I wanted was her support but she insistently called me ridiculous. I can't stay."

"You're always welcome to crash at mine for a bit until you figure things out." You smile at her words.

"I really appreciate it, Kiyo."

"What would you do without me?"

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