It Was Always You

Prologue

"Aaaah!" The hot and steamy sweats came rushing down my face as I woke up from a nightmare. I was panting and it became harder for me to breathe.

"Kuys, is everything alright?" Thirdy entered my room with a glass of water in his hand and sounded so worried.

"I don't know, Thirdy. I don't know." I grabbed the glass on his hand and drank it immediately. The water gave a therapeutic effect to my system and made me calm down for a moment.

"Panaginip lang siguro 'yon. You seemed so scared, ano bang nangyare?" My brother sat on the edge of my bed, listening to what I will say.

"Nagflashback lahat, Thirds. Hindi ko alam pero bumalik lahat sa akin." I shook my head in confusion.

"Bumalik sayo ang?" Thirdy raised his brow and even him was also confused.

"Alam mo yung karma? Every night I am haunted."

"Sino ba kasi yan kuys? Baka naman nakabuntis ka na pala, kaya babalikan ka!" Thirdy threw a pillow at my face.

"Ulol! Hindi yon!" And so I continued, "Si Mika. Si Mika na naman. Si Mika pa rin."

"Kuys, it's been a year since you and Mika broke up! Kayo na nga ni Trinca pero Mika pa din?"

"No, it's not that babalikan ko si Mika. Gabi-gabi kasi akong ginugulo ng memories naming dalawa ni Mika. Paulit ulit akong binabalik dun sa kung paano kami nagbreak, kung paano nya ako iniwan, kung paano kadali para kalimutan nya ako." I sighed in depression.

"All this time, akala ko mahal mo si Trinca." Thirdy said that gave me a guilt feeling.

"Oo, mahal ko naman talaga. Pero iba yung pagmamahal ko kay Mika. Up until now, nagsisise ako sa nagawa kong panloloko kay Miks. Eto na siguro ang karma ko." I laid myself on the bed as Thirdy went out of my room.

***

"Aaaaaaah!" Helplessly I cried as mom woke me up from my sleep. I can't breathe. My heart pounded so hard.

"Potchi! Potchi! Huminahon ka." Mom hugged me tight as I sank myself into her arms. Tears were escaping from the depths of my eyes and falling aimlessly to my cheeks.

"Tell me, ano ba kasi 'yon?" Mom hushed me until I can managed to speak.

"S-si Kiefer. Napanaginipan ko na naman si Kiefer. At ikakasal kami, pero alam kong hindi na pwedeng mangyari yon." Bitterness slither into my veins as I mentioned his name. My heart throbbed so many times because of madness.

"Anak, pang ilang gabi na yatang binabangungot ka? May hindi ka ba sinasabi sa amin?" I just shook my head and then I hugged my legs.

"Akala ko moved on na ako, ma. Sobra pa ding sakit. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko." Mom wrapped me in her arms once more. She rubbed my back to help me breathe but nothing can ease the pain I'm feeling every time.

"Mika, he's gone. He is already gone. Learn to accept it. A year already passed. Move on, anak." Those words drowned my heart in sadness. I can't let go. I won't let go. But, how could I hold on if he already gave up?

It was always you, Kief.