intertwined (colby brock fanfiction)

chapter 115

colby

i've always loved the way nature provides its own alarm clock for me. hearing birds chirp in the morning is one of my favorite things about this house, and it's location. i adore the way the sun spills through the curtain hiding me from the blinding light. i enjoy the way i can't sleep past ten here, because the house itself wakes me up.

when i turn over, i'm surprised to see andromeda's body sprawled out next to me. i had almost forgotten about our epic reunion yesterday until i caught sight of her eyes resting, closed and fluttering every few seconds. she's in my bed, and the memories from last night come flooding back. we were up all hours of the night, talking and doing what we do best.

her hand is crossed against her chest, holding my bedsheet against her bare body. even in her sleep, she is humble as ever. it astounds me how she is so beautiful without even having to try. i have always known she is pretty, but it seems like every day she shocks me even more. i still remember the first time i saw her online after her book release. i remember the lump that grew in my throat vividly, and how i desperately tried to choke it down at the sight of her. i wanted to stay away, i wanted to keep my distance and distract myself from how much i missed her. there is no staying away in my list of options though, not with her. i couldn't stand the idea of purposely avoiding a chance to see her face. i remember how nervous she looked as the interviewer asked her lewd questions about her live life and the subject of her first book. i remember the confusion that surrounded me when i learned the title. intertwined. i didn't understand it at first, i thought it was just a quirky title to a sad book about a lost love. i get it now, though. her and i, we are intertwined to say the very least. we are connected in ways that i do not and can not understand, and i could write a book about it too. although, i think i'd stray from the norm and name it something like this hot chick i fell in love with instead. i guess we are different in that way.

i swiftly remove myself from under the covers, despite wanting to stay there with her for the rest of my life. as much as i want to keep my arms wrapped around her naked body until she forcefully pushes me away, i have to piss.

"colby?" she stirs as soon as i make it to the door. i turn around quickly to assure her that i will be right back, but her eyes are still shut and she is still fast asleep. i furrow my eyebrows in admiration, staring at her for a few seconds before turning and leaving her alone in the room to take care of my business.

as i wash my hands, i get distracted by my reflection in the mirror. i used to stand here for hours at a time, gawking at my appearance in the worst ways. i never really could recognize myself in my state then. i was destroyed. i spent a year of my life barely sleeping and almost never leaving this dammed house. i used to think i could just pack up all of my baggage and head out. i thought that i could run, and i tried. i tried to leave everything behind but i could never make it past the driveway. despite how much mental planning i did, i could never leave this place.

now—though, i think i remember who i am. i am just a man, and a fucked up one at that. my mind is full of jealousy and ideas of vengeance, but i want to be good. i want to wipe my brain clean of malicious thoughts and start anew. i spend my life trying my best to get better, to do better. for her, that is. without her, i have no motivation to do anything. i know it's unhealthy, and yet another reason why i am a fucked up waste of space. but i don't care anymore, i've accepted how pitiful and ridiculous i am when it comes to her. i would do anything for that woman, and if turning my life around and trying to fix all of my issues will keep her around, i'll be the first to battle my demons head on.