Ardor

Chapter 8: Forbidden

Their love was forbidden in these four walls.

The four walls of the church were permitted to only those who were cleansed in God's eyes. Every Sunday the church would pile high of those who desperately clung onto the idea that they were nothing but pure themselves, although crucify those who were different from them. These people were oppressed by the idea that you must be God. That his judgemental gaze rains down on each and every one of us, that we will submit to hell's fire if we were to commit one of the ten commandments.

They claim that they strive to be this way because they feel the uttermost love from their lord Jesus Christ. That they are giving back for what he's done to us; die on the cross for our Sins. That we aren't worthy to even glance in his sight, that on judgment day we must sink to our knees in front of our Lord God and beg for forgiveness. With their harmonizing voices yearning out with apologizes, not clearly understanding why they are on their knees in front of a man they have never met, yet feared.

What true feelings they felt was fear. Ever since a young age, these men and women were installed with the fear that you must live up to certain expectations. They take this fear everywhere they go with them and infect those around them like a virus. They spread this love they claim they have from their God, their words laced with absolute and complete fear. That they care for those who weren't educated on the matter, or those who strayed from the light of God.

This love mixed with hate.

Their love was seen as something that was deemed unforgivable. To lust for another man was something that could be punishable by death, something so vile and unforgivable. Although the church did not know of the Sins the young men have committed... they felt the blood on their hands. The unholy nature and sin stored within their aching bones.

This Sin was something neither of them can admit they wanted, nor were they proud. When their lips touched for another time each night under God's gaze, they wished nothing more than to hide from him. Hide in the shadows with one another, only breathing in the scent of their partner. The shadows they wished to hide... but he was everywhere. God lurked in the shadows. He knew every curse mumbled past your lips as you took this man into your arms, into your home... and into your heart.