I looked down at the black and purple mix of bruises on my arm in disgust. They blossomed across my skin like horrible, dark flowers, leaving my once pale skin looking like a storm cloud. I felt tears spill over as the memories of what happened last night flooded through me. As I wiped the tears away, the right side of my face throbbed in pain. The bruise there was black, blue, purple and red and hurt 10 times worse than any on my arms.
"I still can't believe it."
I whispered to myself. Above me, my tree made a loud groaning sound, trying to comfort me. I mean yeah, this isn't the first time he's done something like this. The beatings. But he's never, ever cut me or hit me above the neck.
The look in his eyes, that voice. Ugh. I felt myself shudder. I pulled my jacket tighter around me. It was the beginning of summer, but I was freezing.
I wish I could do something-anything- to defend myself, but I can't. When he hit me, I felt all the energy surge out of me, leaving me weak and hollow, unable to lift a finger to stop him. I never could. I think that's why he kept doing it.
If I could just do SOMETHING to protect myself, than things would be a lot less complicated. I sighed, but quickly sucked the breath back in.
'ask.'
The voice in my head wasn't my own. It was a high, crystal voice that was so beautiful that, had I not been numb with confusion, would have brought tears to my eyes. I thought I was going insane, so I decided to ignore the voice but after a couple of seconds, I felt as if something was tugging on my heart. Compelling me to do just what the voice wanted. I closed my eyes and listened to the voice.
'please'
My voice was shaking with unshed tears as I asked. I didn't know who I was asking, but once that word was out, they wouldn't stop.
'please. Please help me. I never did anything to deserve this. All I need is SOMETHING. I don't know how much longer I can stand this pain.'
I was sobbing and shaking as tear after tear slid off my face. The sobs rocked my body until I fell to my knees. Asking for something I knew I wasn't going to get to someone I didn't even know, brought back the weakness, the loneliness, the pain, the sadness, the anger. So many emotions that crashed down, pressing on me. I can't take it.
Then, without trying, my tears stopped and the emotions faded as they were replaced with something else.
Burning, searing agony.
The pain ripped up my right arm like 10 million knifes, bombs, and acid rolled into one. Actually, that would be like floating on a cloud compared to this pain. My scars begin to glow a violet purple as I screamed and then flashed into red. The light started to pulse and change from purple to red in a blinding array of lights. I felt something in me move and then I felt my mind break and my eyes close against the pain.
*
I woke up under my tree with an aching body and a tingling arm. The pain was gone, and for that I was grateful because I don't think I could've stood that for much longer without it killing me. I jumped as I felt my phone buzz in the back pocket of my jeans. I pulled it out and read.
Quinn: hey party at my houz tonite would love for u to come ;)
I smiled. Ahhh quinn. Always there to flirt. I sighed and replied
Kessy: Quinn, I want u to tell me why on earth I would ever miss one of ur partyz
Seconds later my phone buzzed again
Quinn: because you hate me and don't like spendin time with me
I lauged. Always looking for compliments.
Kessy: shutup u idiot! U no I luv u and I spend almost everyday with you
Quinn: lol I guess u do well Ill c u tonite u better be ready
Kessy: lol ok Quincy
I turned off my phone and stood up. All the pain was gone except for a dull ache in my muscles and I will happily deal with that. I felt a confidence I had never felt before and it made me feel good. It made me feel something else too.
Power.
I feel powerful. I feel as if I could run up mountains, take on a pro wrestler and crack boulders in half with my hands. I laughed. It felt wonderful. This power. This energy.
I looked around and saw a rock on the ground next to me. The rock was the size of my head and thick, but when I picked it up, it didn't even feel THERE. I had to look down to make sure it was. The rock had to weigh at least 30 lbs. I turned it around and around in my hand and then I got a grip on it, and squeezed.
The rock shattered into dust. I looked at the grey, chalky dust in my hands and laughed. Really, really laughed. Laughed in joy and happiness. A thing I hadn't done in a while.
I ran to the nearest tree and punched. The tree was 50ft tall and was one of the biggest in this Forrest. The punch didn't hurt me and I had to look again to see if I touched it. It might not have hurt me, but the punch hurt the tree. The tree snapped, sending a loud sound echoing through the forest.
The tree crashed into the nearest one and I watched as the tress plowed to the ground. I can't believe I can do this. Then my happiness froze.
I asked for this.
I asked for something to defend my self with and I got it.
"oh my god."
I got it! I won't have to take anyones feel weak anymore! I can actually do something.
"Thank you."
Those to words were the only ones I could use to express my gratitude to my unseen and unknown hero. I was so happy that I had to spread it. I pushed my happiness out around me, trying to make every living thing feel like I did. Behind me, the tree made a happy sound in return. I ran over and kissed the trunk.
I grabbed my bag and ran home. I ran really fast to! I ran so fast that things were a blur around me. I arrived home in minutes when usually it would take an hour. I braved through the door and shouted,
"I'm home!"
I jumped as the quiet I received was interrupted by Jackson's voice. He looked mad to see me.
"you seem happy tonight. I'll tell you what. You go to see the guys and I won't hurt you again. But if you say no, then you might not be awake to see me, or the guys again."
He said it in menacing voice. One I would have backed away from had I not been so happy. I smiled, shook my head, clasped my hands in front of me and bent down. Like I was talking to a child, I said,
"Awwww is poor little Jackson upset 'cuz he's out of pot? Well don't worry big brother! I have an offer to make to you too. Why don't you take your little proposal and shove it up your ass!"
The last part I said with a strong voice and watched as jack sons face grew red. He grabbed a carving knife of the table, and threw it. I caught it at the hilt, and threw it back. It landed deep in my brothers shoulder, going past the hilt. He screamed and fell to the floor, holding his shoulder.
I walked to him and knelt beside him on the dirty kitchen floor. He looked at me and I saw something I never expected to see in his eyes directed at me.
Fear.
My brother was scared of me! Good. I laughed. I bent down and pressed my lips to his ear. In as scary voice as I could muster, I said
"now, you can finally feel the same way you've made me feel for the past 3 years. If you ever touch me or any other innocent girl again,
I paused, adding dramatic affect and then continued with,
"I'll eat you alive."
My voice and threat must have worked because he was shaking beside me. I stood up and ran up the stairs. I felt glorious and powerful and happy.
"all thanks to - here I paused, feeling my other emotions be crushed by confusion- who?"
