Definition and Wasting Time

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I am not brave

by definition

I am not afraid

to die

But I dont believe

in living

To me            

it is pointless

A waste of time

but Im here

Because I do not want

Others to hurt

So by definition

Im alive

To me

Life is boring

School, work, homework, thinking

Repeat

Sometimes I write

As you are now witnessing

But it is simply a waste of time

til I die

It is a waste of time

I do not wish for her to hear

The small things I have to say

Because she will worry

But if she is somehow here

I wish her to stand

I am proud of her

she is living happily

But she is not here

I wished her not to be

Though I no longer believe

That she does not have the time

I believe she is trying her best

To create a life for me

And though I know

I do not want it

I will live it

For her.

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