Joanna X Joanna fluff AU [Failed Abortions]

Break fast

       Joanna woke up, the sun directly hitting her eyes causing her to go blind. She then got up out of bed and ran into the mirror because she is blind and cannot see for she is blind. She then opened her eyes and looked into the mirror, seeing a beautiful pair of eyes. She is no longer blind for plot convenience. She then kissed the mirror because she has a crush on the person she just saw. (Inspired by Michael Jackson) "I'M GONNA GET BREAKFAST!" she exclaimed as she woke up everyone in the house. 

       She then stumbled her way into the kitchen where she saw Amelie pouring a bowl of wires, Ava then got up and screamed, "YOU NEED A BALANCED AND NUTRITIOUS DIET, YOU CAN'T JUST EAT WIRES!!" Ava then proceeded to pour milk in before the cereal. Joanna gagged from the sight of milk before cereal and then got cancer. Amelie then scooped up her wires and shoveled them into her mouth, munching loudly. Richard then came into the room carrying the mirror Joanna kissed earlier screaming, "WHO LICKED THE BEAUTIFUL FACE IN MY MIRROR?" He then proceeded to make out with it because he found himself so attractive. Ava got up and screamed "NARCISSIST!" at Richard and jumped up on the counter, Richard following. They then started slapping each other but because it is irrelevant to Joanna, we don't mention it ever again.

       Joanna grabbed a spoon because she could see her reflection, it was hot. (the reflection not the spoon) She then started to lick the spoon multiple times for no reason what so ever. Amelie sat in confusion as she watched the chaos around unfold, making sure to hold her bowl of wired cereal close. MJ (also Ava) devoured Leonardo Dicraprio. Cindy started a satanic ritual spawning hot anime boys to swarm the room, Richard's "bestie" was also there but she's irrelevant. Everyone sat on the one person couch and watched a movie, the hot anime boys were used as pillows because we couldn't afford body pillows. Joanna got up from the couch and claimed that she was going to make popcorn for everyone. She then ran up the stairs and fell through the floor to the kitchen. Joanna then pulled out a packet of microwavable popcorn from the cabinet. She pushed the popcorn button on the microwave causing the whole house to be nuked.

       Everything is now fine due to plot convenience. Joanna looked at the microwavable popcorn realizing that there wasn't enough for everyone. Cory then walked into the kitchen, where he saw Joanna standing there. Joanna then turned around, "It's way past your bedtime Cory, why are you awake?" Cory then gave her a confused look because he's old enough to not need to go to bed at 11 am. Joanna then grabbed her car keys and asked if Cory wanted to go to the grocery store to get popcorn. Cory said "Ew no" but went anyway. They both got in a white van and drove off. They both realized that Joanna couldn't drive and this wasn't their van. They were being kidnapped!!! 

       The van drove straight into a basement, crashing, but no one was hurt. Thank goodness that could've been really bad. Both Cory and Joanna confronted their kidnapper. Ava!!?? but which Ava was it? They were unable to tell because they knew two of them. Oh well, I guess we'll never know. Ava then yelled, "I AM MJ AND THIS IS MY DOG, LEONARDO DICAPRIO!!!" Mj then pointed to a pile of mush on the floor. Joanna then asked, "How do we know you're not lying about being Mj?" "You're clearly Ava!" Cory yelled. "BUT WHICH ONE?" They said in sync. Mj then kicked them out of her basement because they were too stupid to function. 

       Back at the house, everyone wondered where Joanna went, because she in the main character in this chapter. Mj then walked in through the door. Cindy asked Mj, "Did you fail to kidnap Joanna again?" Mj then nodded her head yes, while Cindy pat her on the back, "It's okay, you'll do better next time." Amelie, still munching on her wired cereal. Richard suddenly an empty feeling in his heart, he looked straight at himself in the mirror and gave the most sincere smile. "We need to talk. Wait never mind.. sorry I'll let you go first." He then stared at himself in the eyes, waiting for a response. Anime boy #1 that Cindy summoned, grabbed onto Richard's shoulder, "Follow your heart." Richard then tensed up, closed his eyes, and felt tears pour down his cheeks. "I DON'T THINK I LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" he shouted at his reflection as he ran away tripping over the single sofa.

       Joanna and Cory sadly walk back to the house. Joanna is still upset that she can't drive and Cory is paranoid from the situation they've just been through. They try comforting each other as they drive their scooters up into space and collect Honey Buddha Chips. On the way back down they end up eating all of them saving none for the others. At the grocery store they find out that there is no popcorn left because there was a rave. They go to another store and buy some popcorn there. Once back at the house, Joanna notices that everyone had already finished the movie and Richard was not there. He was most likely crying in his room but that's irrelevant. There was no more popcorn either because Joanna and Cory had eaten all the popcorn kernels.

       Joanna then passed out on the floor from eating all the uncooked popcorn.  She was turning a really pretty shade of purple so Ava and Cory started taking selfies with her unconscious body.  "Don't you think we should call a doctor?"  Amelie asked.  Everyone then turned and started to point and laugh because her concern was stupid. Joanna then got up from being lifeless and called her good friend Minty, because she hasn't seen her in a while. Minty showed up to the house and saw rose petals on the floor from where Cindy and the anime boys were dancing. Minty scoffed and looked down at her feet where she was standing on Joanna.

       Minty is a doctor by the way. Minty then gave her good friend Joanna a check-up because that's what she does every time they meet up. Minty gasped at the results, "YOU'RE PREGNANT XD" Everyone turned to look at Joanna and gasped. Minty then said, "lolol jkjk she has cancer and only has two days to live." Joanna then asked how she had gotten cancer. Minty turned to look at Ava, "It's because of her."