I know people say we are just in the honeymoon phase or whatever, but I know this is special. I fell in love with you on our fourth date. Do you remember that one? You took me to see the movie I'd been dying to go to, and I told you we didn't have to go because I remembered you telling me before we started dating that you didn't like horror movies. But you insisted on taking me, you bought my ticket, you got me sweetish fish - the giant ones - and we found our seats. The exact moment I fell in love with you may seem like an insignificant one, but this was not something that was under my control. In the movie the bad guy had just snuck into the house, then he jumped out from behind a corner and you jumped too. You grabbed my arm with both hands. I knew when you clung to me like that, that I was in love and that we were not a one month thing. I knew that you, my first boyfriend, would be my last and that we were invincible as long as I could forever find a way to love you as much as I did in that moment. It was a while before you admitted your love to me and I almost said out loud 'what you so long', but I didn't care how long it took because I knew you loved me, you didn't have to ever tell me for me to know.
You are my lifeline. I know I love you, but I never could have guessed what you were going to do for me. I couldn't have know you would make me see the beauty in myself, that you would make me see that grades and school were not the most important thing.
I honestly don't think anyone can come close to loving me as much as you do. You make sure to talk to me every single day whether virtually or in person, you respect me and test me at the same time and you are my world. And I will talk about you in present tense until the moment they pull that plug. Until the moment those of us who love you the most have to kill you.
I can only pray to whatever god there may be that you have the teensiest ability to comprehend me and that I didn't wait too long to tell you this. I hope that I did enough as your girlfriend while you were still conscious to make sure you knew how much I love you.
I love you.
God, I love you so much.
I have to go now.
I hope you know I love you.
I will always love you, my first love.
