Chain of Thorns

Chapter Seventeen

James looked amused. "Really? Then I must leave you in the middle of the dance floor at once to go greet her."

He was making a reference to when he had left her to go greet Grace at the very first ball Cordelia had ever attended, and she laughed. She liked it when James was in these playful moods; he always made her laugh.

"It would not be the first time you would have left me." Cordelia shot back, amused as well.

James laughed. "It was good of Matthew to have saved you from the humiliation I would have inflicted."

At the sound of Matthew's name, Cordelia's heart lurched. She had not spoken to him since they had had their fight and Cordelia found that she missed him. She knew that she should apologize for her harsh words but she was afraid to approach him. Cordelia sought him out in the crowd and saw that he was dancing with Lucie; he was grinning down at her as she laughed lightly. Matthew looked so incredibly beautiful and it hurt Cordelia's heart. He did not love her anymore. The thought had been needling at her for the past few days and it kept her awake at night. Cordelia had forced herself to forget about it but she found that she could not.

"Yes," Cordelia spoke finally. "It was very nice of Matthew to save me like that. I do not know what I would have done if he had not been there."

"Matthew has always had the need to help and protect everyone he can." James spoke fondly. "He took to you very quickly - it made me glad. He is not one to accept change in our little group."

Cordelia did not wish to speak about Matthew with James so she decided to change the subject. "I told Aurora of our fake marriage."

James looked interested. "What did she have to say about it?"

"She was surprised that we were not truly married." Cordelia felt herself blush slightly. "I find that I have come to like her very much. She is very kind."

"I have as well." James smiled. "She fits in very well with all of us. I suspect that her and Matthew have feelings for one another."

Cordelia froze for a moment as realization struck; so that was why Matthew no longer loved her. He had placed his affections in Aurora - it all made perfect sense. Cordelia could not ignore the sense of heartbreak that she felt once again.

"What makes you say that?" She asked casually.

James shrugged. "It is only a feeling. Although they have been spending much time together. It would make me very happy to see Matthew happy with someone."

"I, as well." Cordelia's mouth felt like sandpaper.

The dance ended soon after that and James left to speak to Christopher. Cordelia stood on the side of the dance floor, watching Matthew from afar. He was standing alone as well, his dark green eyes studied the side of his left sleeve. Cordelia knew that she should go up to him and apologize; it would only further drive a wedge between them if she did not. She began to move towards him, her heart beating faster with every step she took. Cordelia had never recalled feeling intimated by Matthew but she now was. She did not know if she would be able to handle the weight of his stare as she apologized for what she had said to him. What if Matthew did not forgive her? What if he now wanted nothing to do with her?

Cordelia forced herself to push these thoughts to the side as she neared him. Matthew was kind and forgiving - he would not push her away or refuse to speak to her. Cordelia was now almost standing in front of Matthew and was about to call his name when someone approached him. It was Aurora. She was smiling up at him and Matthew returned the smile as soon as he saw her. It made Cordelia stop in her place. James had been right; it certainly did look as if he and Aurora felt for one another. Matthew deserved to be happy. What Cordelia had said to him had been terrible and Matthew deserved people in his life who were kind to him. Cordelia certainly had not been kind to him.

She watched as Matthew and Aurora began to speak and laugh together and Cordelia turned around and walked away. She felt heartbroken. It would now be Aurora that Matthew would take to the Hell Ruelle and it would Aurora who he danced with at balls. It would no longer be Cordelia. The thought made her feel sick. In her distressed state, Cordelia sought out Lucie, and found her standing alone by the entrance to the balcony. Without thinking, Cordelia embraced her, burying her face into her best friend's shoulder.

"Oh, Daisy." She heard Lucie say. "Are you alright? Has something happened?"

Cordelia pulled away from Lucie, tears in her eyes. "I got into a terrible argument with Matthew the other day and he said that he no longer loves me. I believe that he now loves Aurora."

"Oh, Cordelia, I am so very sorry." Lucie looked saddened.

"And I know that I should not care as I can never be with Matthew anyways, but I find that I cannot help it." Cordelia sniffled.

Lucie reached out and pulled Cordelia in for a hug again; she held her very tightly.

"Do not cry. You are Cordelia Carstairs - you are one of the bravest people I have ever known. Do not allow some silly boy to allow you to feel any less than you are." Lucie spoke firmly.

Cordelia felt touched by her words. "Thank you, Luce."

They both pulled away from each other and Lucie gave her a cheery smile and wiped away a tear that was on Cordelia's cheek. Cordelia felt very happy in that moment that she had chosen someone like Lucie to be her Parabatai.