Hana

Chapter 18 The nip on my upper lip

I tied my hair into a ponytail and think if his demands are important or not. He sits down next to me again. This time more gently, he turn to me.

“Ok, my dear stubborn and childish girlfriend, can you drink some water?” He looks into my eyes with love, like a little puppy.

“Akira, I’m not your girlfriend.” I, nearly laugh, looking away from his begging eyes.

“Fine, I just want you to feel better. I’m teasing you. Can you don’t take it that seriously?” He laughs out that he is hitting the tree behind us.

I roll my eyes and feel troubled that I have such a “awesome” friend.

“Oh, and how’s the preparation for the Final Exam going?” He continues. Finally he is saying something more normal.

“So far everything is perfect. I am going to rock this exam, different from the midterm. I really mess up that one.”

The whole Yuzuru thing still stuck in my mind and I can not study due to all the yuzuphobia symptoms during the middle of the semester. However, Akira slowly helped me to overcome it. It was very hard at first but he made me to remember and keep the good memories of Yuzuru.  Akira made me realize that it is not a big deal at all to let him to be embarrassed in front of the crowd. I acknowledged that hating my idol does not worth the price just because that one small accident. Looking back at the times that I put everything of him away from my eyesight, the all thing looks so childish and immature.  

At this point, I am not afraid of Yuzuru anymore. My empty heart was full again with him and Akira again. But I don’t have the right to contact with Yuzuru again. I have left him alone by himself for two and half months. How cruel am I! I do not deserve and dont' have the courage to see him again. Even if I do have the chance to see him, how should I explain that I am afraid of him? I will never do something this detrimental to his feelings. However, if I really think this way, I would have never been afraid of him for my own purpose. Meeting him will be so selfish. Plus, I don’t know if he will still remember me and even be nice to me again.

“MEG!” Akira shouted at me and pulled me into his arms. I finally noticed that I am dripping tears and gazing in the air.

“Meg, oh my poor Meg” Akira hugs me with tenacious arms, pressing me tightly to his firm chest. 

I am simply too startled to make a respond to his action before he starting to speak again.

“If loving you can makes you escape from the guilt, then my love will be the the sand in the Sahara desert. And if you would let me to love you, my love will be the brightest moon in the night, radiating your path and guiding you to sweet romance.” Akira whispers in my ears. 

“My heart is ripping apart in these months when I see my love struggle, not to love me, but trying to overcome her fear to a person who doesn’t even truly loves her. I had enough.” He pulled me away from his embrace and pull me in to him again.

The next feeling I have is the pressure of his lips on mine. The gentle nip on my upper lip sends a shiver from my back to the back of my head. Akira's hand circles me on my waist and gradually moving up to my back. I am shocked when he kissed me. But when I tried to push him away, his arms grab me closely to him while he kisses me daintily. The kiss from Akira is warm and passionate. 

Akira rest for a while when our distance still stays in just an inch. The temperature of Akira's lips left a gentle heat on my lips even when his leaves mine. We are so close that both of us are breathing each other's breathe.     

"Close your eyes." He whispers to my lips. And I did.

His lips are soft and delicate that it felt like velvet is brushing my lips. I just let him to kiss my lips with my eyes closed and slowly get used to his moves, angles, his comfortable kissing. His kissing doesn't makes me to feel gross with saliva on my lips, but like a comforting and confessing kiss. Feeling his kisses is like reading his heart. It feels like he is struggling between kissing me hardly or leaving more for the future to taste. I can feel that the tickling on my lips shows his care for me throughout these days he helped me and his own battle whether to kiss me or not to. My head hesitate to match his when there is a swirl of guilt that I have already rejected him a few minutes ago. 

“Akira, I’m sorry.” I apologies to him. “Sorry to make you feeling this bad.”

Akira said nothing and blushes. The tension on my waist loosen and his eyes still focus on my lips. 

“Akira. We’re in school and there are a bunch of girls looking at us right now.” I put my face in my palms. Kissing in front of those gossip girls, especially those who like Akira, is a big trouble.

Akira lifts my head up from my chin away from my hands.

“Last one.” He murmurs.

This time a little bit stronger on mine, his lips press and clench on my open mouth. He leaves with a slight suck my lower lips, leaving my lips a buzziling feeling.

I guess he gets too into kissing me that he even doesn’t even think of others, maybe even me.