Reasons

Making dinner

The Thousand Sunny was truly a magnificent ship. It could shoot all kinds of weapons, it could sail faster then any ship on sea and it could even fly. Although it wasn't grand or mighty in the size, it was still remarkably comfy and homely. The dormitories were spacious. There was a clinic setup for Chopper where he studied medicine and treated any one injured. There was an outclass gym set up in the crows nest usually occupied by Zorro. The living room had an aquarium where they kept exotic sea creatures as well as plenty of fish so Sanji can cook them fresh. There was plenty of storage room for storing and stocking supplies, of which Sanji maintained a detailed inventory. Sanji's favourite part of ship, however, was his kitchen. It was spacious and clean. It had wooden cabinets to store all his appliances. There was a small window by the stove he sometimes opened for ventilation, facing the great blue sea. There was a spacious dinning area beside the kitchen where they usually had their meals together. And that's what he loved about his kitchen the most. The happy memories of all the meals the straw hats had together, enjoying the food he prepared. Luffy screaming for more, trying to steal from others plates. Ussop and Chopper making funny faces using food. Franky excitedly telling them about his new inventions and upgrades. As a Chef nothing made him happier then watching people enjoying his meals.  Entering that place never failed to lift up his spirits.

Today was however not that day. As he puffed the last of the cigarette and and entered the kitchen, instead of the calm he usually felt, he felt anger and annoyance seeping in again as he looked at the mess on the floor. His heart ached a little at sight of all that food wasted. It could have saved lives. 'Luffy!' He cursed under his breath, his brows furrowed in anger for a moment before sighing. 'Better clean this up.' He  opened his cuffs, pulled up his sleeves, wriggled out of the jacket, and threw on an apron. It's gonna take a long time to clean this all up and get the dinner ready all over again.

'What's the point of having you on the ship.' Luffy's words came back to him as he mopped the floor.

As his hands went though the usual labour. His mind strayed to memories of his adventures with StrawHats in past 3 years.

He remembered the calm days before their adventures. He also remembered all the days they worked as a team to defeat what seemed like one bad guy after another. He remembered Luffy saving Nami. He remembered them fighting in Skypiea. He remembered their fights in Enis Lobby. How he earned the name Kuroashi (black leg) Sanji of Straw-Hats. He was brought in only as a cook right? Then why had he put his life on the line again and again to protect him, to protect them. Hadn't he proven himself? Wasn't he enough? What does he mean 'what's the point of having him on the ship!!' Sanji almost broke the mop in anger. He finished mopping and took out the vegetables and other ingredients from pantry.

'Frankly it's not like everything had been peachy in his life since he joined the Straw-Hats anyway.' He thought as started washing the vegetables. It's been one disaster after another, seeming to hit him most then others. First the damned Marimo got a bounty before him. When he finally got a bounty it was.. 'Ugh' a shiver ran down his spine. That face on the poster. The face that gave him nightmares for days!  Then he finds out there is actually a guy with 'that face'!! That too being called black leg Sanj no less!! Oh the injustice!! Sanji realized he was washing the vegetables more forcefully then was strictly required when he squeezed a tomato too hard. He sighed putting away the washed vegetables and picked up a knife.

The first mermaid he saw was the 50 year old Konkoru baa Chan. Talk about shattered dreams.

He tried focusing on preparing the vegetables. Unfortunately as he started shredding the onions with mechanical precision, his hands almost a blur, his mind started to wander again.

Really what's the point though. He wasn't there when it actually mattered.' He thought, all the poisonous guilty thoughts coming back to him in a rush now. 'He couldn't save Luffy or that idiot green head on thriller barc. Even when he had gathered his courage to put his life up for the captain and first mate, Zorro had proven himself by knocking him out without giving him a choice. He could do nothing when the Bartholomew Kuma, defeated them and separated them in a blink of an eye. He wasn't even there for Luffy when... Sanji's knife stopped. He looked into the distance, his eyes clouded, as he remembered watching Luffy holding Ace's body covered in blood mouth open in a silent scream in that newspaper. 'He wasn't there when Luffy needed him the most. He sighed in regret. Shaking his head he tried to focus his attention back on making the dinner. However the thoughts kept swirling in his mind.