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Review By Golfergirl2003 | Solemnly Swear

Book Reviewed: Solemnly Swear
Author: isabelladear
Reviewer: golfergirl2003
Type of review: Honest

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Title:

The title is obviously an allusion to the Marauders' Map, which is fitting given that the Marauders, particularly James, are important to your book.  However, I would suggest something more unique to your storyline. We are sixteen chapters into the book and there has been no mention of the Marauders’ Map and I feel that it places the importance with James and the Marauders, rather than Millie.  This is Millie’s story, so I think you could go with a title more unique to her.  Of course, there is nothing wrong if you would stick with your title, it works fine as is.

(3/5 stars)

Cover:

Your cover is excellent. I love the font that you used for the title, it really gives off Harry Potter vibes. I like how we have Millie upfront with her eyes glowing pale.  The green accents are also great not only showing the green in Millie’s visions but also alluding to her Slytherin House. 

(5/5 stars)

Description/Bio:

The second paragraph of your description is awesome and really conveys the general idea of your story and draws in your reader. It’s exactly what I would expect to read on the back of a book.  The first paragraph, however, could use some work.  “Millie Evans was the opposite to her older sister, Lily Evans.” It is important here to introduce Millie and her relationship to the fandom, but I disagree with them being opposites.  Their differences are very topical and I feel like Mille and Lily are actually quite similar. I would consider rewording how you introduce Millie here. You go on to discuss Millie’s surprise at being placed into Slytherin because she is muggle-born, however, you don’t really talk about this in the book.  Pureblood vs. Mudbloods is not the main theme in your book, so I don’t think it’s important enough to be in the description.  I do love this: “nothing’s impossible in the world of witchcraft and wizardry.”

(4/5 stars)

Plot: 

You are doing really well, slowly building up your plot. I must admit, I was a little nervous at first when you introduced Millie’s visions in the second chapter, but you actually did really well. You’re doing a really good job slowly making her visions more intense and coming in with the right amount of filler and action. Great job!  I love the subplot of the deal with James, but I’m thinking that in the coming chapters you should start wrapping this up so that we can focus on the climax with Millie’s visions.

 (5/5 stars)

Grammar, Punctuation, and Language:

Your grammar is pretty good. I would suggest looking up some rules for punctuation in complex sentences and giving a proofread because there are a couple misspelled words, but nothing distracts from the overall quality. You did a great job using dialect. I don’t know if you are from the UK, but you did a great job writing your characters to be British. You used great sayings and spellings that really make your book feel authentic.  The last thing I would mention would be to revise your point of view. 

Throughout most of the book, you make good use of 3rd person limited from Millie’s point of view, however, there are times when you switch to 3rd person omniscient rather abruptly. I would suggest keeping everything from Millie’s point of view.  Anything that falls in a different character’s point of view can either be inferred or discovered later. 

  (5/5 stars)

Reading Experience:

You did a great job balancing filler with action and your chapters flow very nicely.  The only thing I would recommend is to make the chapters a little longer, but that’s just a preference of mine. 

(5/5 stars)

Characters:

For the most part, your characters are well developed and come across really real.  They have separate personalities, but there are no extremes. You do a good job balancing them in your story, we never really forget or lose characters.  Thank you so much for not falling into Gryffindor vs. Slytherin clichés. 

Millie is a Slytherin, and she owns it.  I’ve read so many books where the main character is a Slytherin that just hates Gryffindor and is evil. You did a great job avoiding this. I love seeing her interactions, both within Slytherin and with the other houses.  She feels like a true Slytherin. I also like her interactions with Vivienne.  Vivienne convinces Millie to leave her friends to become popular. We can see that this isn’t a great choice, but you did a great job of rationalizing it in Millie’s head and not making Vivienne come off as evil. I love Millie and Regulus; they’re really cute and I love that you aren’t rushing them into a relationship, but adding in awkwardness and confliction. I liked Millie and James’s relationship, but I’m not a fan of making them a couple. It feels forced to me and I doubt that either of them would really crush on one another. I think you are much better off having James and Millie become closer as friends throughout the story. I enjoy their quirky friendship. The last thing I’ll discuss with your characters is Petunia and Millie’s home life. I know that you were scared that Petunia was coming off a little too evil, but I think it is perfectly believable. It's the quintessential sibling rivalry and you’re pulling it off great. It definitely feels real. 

(5/5 stars)

 Last thoughts:

You’ve got the start of a really great book right here. It was a pleasure to read, and I’m excited to see where this is going.  Moving forth, I would recommend wrapping up the James and Lily subplot and bring the focus to Millie’s visions. Let’s head towards the climax and really see where this takes us!  Your characters are solid and you stay very true to the fandom; reading your book, I really feel like I’m at Hogwarts. 

Overall Rating: 4.5 stars

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