L o o k i n g B a c k

Unexpected One

"Look, Ian. You know how much I love you. But this is not good. Carla, loves you more than I. And I don't want my best friend to be hurt.." Ian is on the other line, pleasing me to stop and to make my decisions changed. It's all I can do to make my best friend happy. Right! Carla is my ultimate childhood/grade school/high school/all time best friend. I can't take it, if she would feel betrayed or anything. I just want her to be happy.

"And besides, it's her, the first one you've met. You just knew me because.."

"Shh. Lexi, I love you. Carla, she's a good a person."

"Exactly! She is the one - the right one for you. Admitted, you like her. She is perfect and there's nothing I can say."

"I know. But, my feelings for you is different."

"Ian, you are dating her. Then, you kissed me - kissed her best friend. How would she feel about that? We will lose her both. I do not want to lose my best friend. You know I can't take that."

"But, how about me?"

"I want you for her. If you love me, you will do as I say. Forget everything that had happened. Okay?"

"But, Lexi.."

"Are you crying?" He never answered my question, but I can hear his breathing.

"Like this, just tried to not to think about me. Think about us. If you want company, text her, call her, just find her. It's all I know that you can do to fall in love with her. Just be with her. She loves you so much - so much more than I. I am sorry, Ian." I hung up and tried to go to sleep..

Ian, my secret lover. Yes! He kissed me once. But that never ever will happen again. Carla, which is my best friend, loves him so much. I realized that I will not let my self happy, if someone will be hurt because of me. That's why I am giving it up. I almost cried, but just a little. I know after this. We will all be happy, I guess.

«»

The next thing I know is I'm up! It seems like a dream, but I pinch myself and it is the reality.

I am looking in the mirror and all I can see is a wide awake Lexi, who wants everyone else to be happy.

"Lexi, the bus is at the shed already."

"I'm coming, Mom." Our petite house is just in front of the shed, so it is easy to just hop in the bus. It's just the three of us - Dad, Mom, and Lexi, their only child.

"Here's your sandwich.."

"Thanks." I smiled slightly at her.

"Hey, what happen to your eyes?"

"Nothing. I just catch a colds last night and I keep on rubbing my eye. It is very itchy, so that happened."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Thanks, again. I'd better go." I kissed her. So that, she will not make any suspicions that I cried; although I know she knew - Mom's instinct.

Our house is just 3Km away from the school, that's why I need to take the bus. Dad is a busy person, I don't want to bother him to ride me at school. He always wanted me to be independent, strong and capable of taking care of my self. That's Dad! And I love my Dad so much..

"Lexi.."

"Hi, Ian. Carla, Good Morning. How's your night?" Actually, I spoke to Carla but I often looked at Ian. I can see his still totally up to me.

"Good. Did you think about me?" I smiled at her, like I always do to her.

"Come with us. Let's take breakfast."