Forbidden Fruit

Chapter 5 - Candlelight and Ignorance

"Excuse me?" I retorted, sitting up to glare at him. Nick looked a little intimidated, as he scratched his neck awkwardly, a frightened but peace offering smile on his face. Oh but that wouldn't save his ass right now! 

"Y-You know, for yesterday?" he stuttered and I swear if I had enough money to just buy myself a new phone, I would have crushed mine in my fist that second. It was really hard not to be mad at this idiot, when he was hurting me like this. I didn't really use the word hurt in connection with myself every often, because I did not get hurt easily. Maybe annoyed, or wounded, but not hurt. "Shouldn't you be the one to apologize to me for, hm, I don't know, degrading me to my sexuality and basically calling me a whore?" I growled and Nicks eyes widened even more. 

"Jaxson I never said that I-" 

"But you meant it like that. Nick, man I know this is probably very...weird for you. But get this through your thick scull, that my gay ass was not in the least bit responsible for that kiss! And my sexuality doesn't define who I can be friends with and who I only want to fuck! A lot of people have degraded me, just because I'm gay or assumed shit, but I never thought you would. Nick, you really hurt me yesterday. And now I would really like to know, why the hell I should apologize to you!" I said, keeping my cold mask. Nick looked with a mixture of sadness, sorrow, and hurt at me. Maybe he didn't understand how hard his words had actually hit me. I do not go around and loose control over myself so easily. It took a lot to make me go that far yesterday. To make me storm out and even start a fight with him. 

"I-I don't know...for throwing my girlfriend out?" he stuttered and god help that boy, because if it was anybody else than him, my best friend, he would probably get beaten up for that statement right now. I balled my hands into fists, biting my lip to keep myself from saying or doing the wrong thing. Nick cleared his throat, sitting up straight and apparently actually thought before he would speak his next words. 

"Look Jaxson, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it like that. But come on dude, you can not be angry at me for thinking that you initiated the kiss. I would never do that, not because you are a guy, well that too, but because you are my best friend. And I guess in the moment, I just thought that you must have made some remark for me to think that that was ok. You can't blame me for that!" Nick said.

"But I can Nick, if I had told you before, that you kissed me. Why should I lie to you?" I asked defensively.

"I never said you would lie, maybe withheld some information about what happened before the kiss" Nick said and I shook my head. 

"Nick, you do know that you are only digging your own grave here, right? I'm your best friend, of course you should trust and believe me to have told you nothing but the whole truth. You were the one to kiss me and that you obviously still think, even if its just a small part of you, that I am at fault here, pisses me off! I don't want to react like this, I really don't, not with you. But if you think that kiss wasn't confusing for me, because I'm gay, than you are strongly mistaken. We are nearly always on the same page and you never had a problem with my sexuality or with my sexual life before. Why now?" I asked and Nick clenched his jaw, his eyes holding fear. 

"I don't have a problem with you being gay Jaxson, please don't ever believe that. And I'm not degrading you or whatever to your sexuality, I just don't see myself in any scenario, kissing you just like that. Can we just... agree do disagree?" Nick asked and god forbid this boy should ever be in a fight with his future wife, because I can already smell the divorce. 

"Agree to disagree that it was ok of you to believe, that I made some sort of move first?" I asked and Nick glanced around a little awkwardly, sensing the trap, but not really seeing it.