I think i have adhd.
This is why:
Lets start of with reading. Lets say someone gave me a short paragraph to read. No matter if its instructions, a short story, a math word problem. I cannot focus.
It depends but it takes like 2 times to read things, maybe 5 on a bad day. Stuff just passes through my mind because ill read it- but like not process it?
Like a math problem im like
"Okay okay.. focus.. what is 3×10÷2+53.. okay...*zones out about something i did earlier* wait-what oh. Yeah. 3×10, 3×10, 3×10. Oh yes 30. Thats right. Wait-what"
And so on.
I have no idea. I just cant concentrate.
I also tap my foot or shake my leg, or tap my fingers, or click a pen or something during school and i get in trouble all the time.
I also doodle on my paper a lot while a teacher is talking so i could actually sort of pay attention but ill get in trouble for it.
I feel like tapping around or doodling or doing something helps me focus in a way. Just because im not looking at the teacher or doing something else, doesnt mean im not paying attention
It just makes it easier.
Listening to intructions is a nightmare. I feel like when i need to listen i just cant, i zone out.
Ill end up asking a friends how to do it or something. Ill also ask a lot of questions and one of my teachers gets annoyed because "i already said it like 3 times"
Well sorry mammmmm i just cant.
Also its not like i dont try, i try very hard in school. Its very stressful. I try super hard and end up failing at something and idek.
Also test taking it super difficult for me because i cant pay attention to it or feel time limited.
And doing stuff i dont find paticulary interesting is just difficult to do. In English, when givin a whole page to read and i have to answer questions about some random topic. Ill probably try to read thag page the entire class, get no where and end up trying to do it at home.
Also Biology is super hard for me. Im pretty good at pulling off English but Biology is... something else. My teacher is just bad at teaching. She doesnt even have a degree in biology. She mostly teaches with words rather than showing things, which i find hard to understand. My friends can get an easy 100 with guessing and ill study as hard as i can, getting nowhere and i end up failing.
Sometimes i even feel like i understand the subject, yet i fail.
It makes me feel stupid.
Im also very forgetful.
I leave my phone places and cant find it all the time and ill leave it at stores and stuff and not realize till i get home or leave the store.
One time i left my phone in the fridge
Yeah i dont know either.
Oh! One time i learned about the history of socks at 3am.
Anyways
I also just forget a lot. Like someone tells me something and im like okay.. wait what.
Or someone says something like:
"Hey can you grab that for me, its right there"
Me: "What?"
"Ca-"
Me: "Oh yeah yeah, here"
Or ill ask someone to repeat something multiple times and still not get it, or when they tell a story and i zone out so i just nod...
So there are times when i cant focus, but there are also times when idk, i focus too much?
I start a task and do it for hours on in and usually just forget to eat for majority of the day.
Like ill clean my desk. Then clean my closet, and then end up cleaning my whole room. Then ill realize i havent done anything besides clean my room, and i havent ate anything and its like 4pm.
Also, night time is a nightmare in general.
My mind just goes and goes and goes.
Even when taking sleep melatonin stuff medicene; i just cant sleep.
Ill end up staring around. Maybe learning about the history of socks. Maybe just the need to move.
Thats also a thing. Sometimes i feel like i NEED to move. Like something deep within me is telling me to just move, i need movement. Its weird.
Like in school when seated i just have the feeling of need to stand up and move around, but i cant because im expected to remain seated.
Also i do dance. Ill go to school then go straight to dance and be exhausted then when i go to bed, im hyper as hek and cant sleep. But i tryyy to sleeeeep. Then ill go to school running off 2 hours of sleep, and do it over and over again.
Also people dont understand me when i talk sometimes. Ill talk really fast and mumble or ill mind blank because i frogot or something. Or ill switch words around, idk.
When my mom notices, she calls them "boing moments" because i talk about one thing, maybe move to next subject without finishing the first then go back to the first, maybe not finish my sentence, talk about something else.
Also some days is so much worse than others, but its just seems bad overall.
I dont even know.
The thing is, how do i bring up about how i feel i might have adhd and want to get tested?
My mom has even said she thinks i have adhd, but i want to be tested because if i can get help, i want help.
Dealing with this at school or even everyday life is so hard i just want to break down and wither away.
I dont want to seem like i want attention or faking it. People assume i fake it because i havent been diagnosed. This is just who i am, just because im not diagnosed doesnt mean i dont have it, Because i can, I just dont know. Idk what to do, helppp.
