In Search...

Meaning in Meaninglessness

Away from crowd
Away from cheers
I ran, ran away
Confusing my brain in doubt
Exposing my heart to fears
I turned from the smooth road
To the barrenness of sand
From my possessions to hold
To the emptiness of hand
I smiled in pain of loss
And I grieved over wins I got
I dived in rivers
Not took bridges to cross
Not just paintings portrayed
Focused on every ink dot
Waited for sunset, for sunrise
For lights to go out
And silence to shout...
And then for moon to arrive
Took sorrow as a door to life
And wounds as the key to that door
Opened my heart
When miseries thrived
My breaths got rough with thirst
And more emptiness I poured
Could feel sparks of belief
In moments of utmost grief
Could feel glaze of gratitude
In that broken leaf
Mouth was with hunger
And holes were on hand
Thanking the blessings
In blankness of blank
Compliments and praises
I ran away to the corners aside
To the dullness of despair
From all the open spaces
From all the wideness so wide
In all quietness of emotions
With eyes closed
Just gave my thoughts a light
Had no honour to hold
No prestige, No pride
Freed from chains of outside
Drowned in depths of drought
The spring around turned dried
As I was in search...
Finding meaning in inside...
Of what's wrong and what's right?
And I flew to victorious height
What they call it a defeat
As I found the meaning...
In phrases incomplete...
I wrote my story
On an empty sheet
Even in sorrow, I wasn't sad
They called me crazy
That I've gone mad
Yes, I was with empty scars
But in this meaninglessness
Meaning I had...
When in madness
My logics I dragged
In disappointment of my story
Away from shine
Away from glory
In my words broken
And my breaths unspoken
Even my joys, I named sad...
But you know
I still found ways to be glad...
Because in meaninglessness
Meaning I had...

©Sidiqa
25-4-2020