The Random Adventures of Random McRan Part 3 - The Third Part.

Untitled Part 1

"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM" shouted one of the police officers outside the RITZ hotel. 

"NO FUCKING WAY, I'M EATING ALL THE JACKETS" 

This was the last words Ewan Mcgregor's number one fan said, a Dali painting went through his Meso POTUS Greymatter and he was dead before Ian McKellen could say Yurutu-Tukurututaaaaasusiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikokoko. He was dead, as dead as a living person with grapple mustache syndrome.

Random McRan was in the RITZ hotel rubbing his eye mustaches when he heard all the fuss, and, scared, he went to the lobby to ask for some Degassed Nazi books.

"Excuse me" said Random

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you have a face?" asked Random

"I don't know" responded the Faceless Man

"Oh, ok"

Three years had passed since that day, and now, three years later, it was no longer that day.

Random was now recovering from trying to eat the Eiffel Tower with his Cytoplasm, it was hard being a marksman. A knock came from his door, it sounded just like his doorbell, but more like a knock. Now recovered, he went to see who it was. 

"Who is it?" asked Random.

"Surprise surprise!" 

"Oh, come on in"

Surprise surprise, Random's best friend, entered the house.  

"Long time no see" said Surprise Surprise with his ear-uterus. "Look, I need your help"

"Sure, tell me" 

In that same moment, in a hidden part of Italy, a squirrel gave birth.

"I'm sure a group of Jurassic Park- hungry guitars are following me"

"Not again, for the love of Darth Gandhi Corleone! We've been through this."

"I'm afraid" whispered Surprise Surprise to Random's couch. 

"Is that all?" 

"Yeah he came with me, say hello All"

"Hi" said All.

"Look that's all I wanted to tell you, thanks" 

Then Surprise Surprise turned into Hulk Hogan and exploded. All just left by the ventilator- door.

When Random went to work the other day, his boss invited him to his office. Once he entered, he was inside.

"Random, you're great!"

"Thank you sir"

Then he returned to work. But there was something strange about this all. Why did his boss came into his office like that? It was kind of RANDOM. So he went jumping in one leg to ask him.

"Excuse me, boss?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you came into my office like that?"

"I don't know" then he turned into a sewing machine, this indicated to Random the day was over. And to lick his foot. 

Random was now in his house, he was relaxing. Then a giant Sofa abducted him, and he awoke in an alien space ship from Earth. 

"Hello Random." said the Alien, he was an alien dressed as a human dressed as an alien dressed as King George the II with a Scooby Doo mask, a typical Golgi costume from the 80's. 

"Who... Who are you?" asked Random

"I am your father"

Random recognized the line. While he had never seen Cloverfield, his friends were massive fans of Cast Away, so he recognized the Gladiator vs Racist Winnie the Pooh quote.

"I know that line, you piece of yetspa! Toliyo's army can't stop the Martin Luther King doppelgangers from invading the Celtic Arabian pies! I CAN STOP YOU!"

Then the alien turned into bass-player Oprah Winfrey, you know... RANDOMLY. Then other alien appeared.

"We will destroy every one of you, and the butter will be gluesome"

Then Random was back in his house, he had to go warn the authorities. The aliens were coming, and his dog was now a cow.