Instagram AU drabbles

what if?

"i'm sorry kid," the officer said softly, "i hate to ask this, but can you identify him for us?"

"sugawara koushi." daichi faced the officer, "he's not dead, right? oh my god please tell me he's not dead."

"he's not dead," a doctor on the other side of suga said. "but he's in critical condition. we are going to the hospital, so either stay in the ambulance or leave because we need to go."

daichi quickly nodded and sat down. intertwining his fingers with suga's, the vehicle began to move. please don't leave me suga.

•••

daichi sat in the waiting room with suga's sister and parents. it felt like forever. they wouldn't let any of them see suga or update them on his condition. his eyes were red from crying. his hair was a mess. his shoulder was stained with tears from sakura. the four of them were exhausted.

finally, a doctor called, "the sugawara family?" the four sprung out of their chairs. "come with me please." they stopped outside of one of the rooms. "i'm sorry to inform you, but he's gone."

daichi never imagined that two words could make his entire world crash. he felt a sharp pain in his chest, and his breathing stopped. "there's no way," daichi cried, grabbing the man's arm and falling to his knees. tears filled his eyes again, and he heard the soft weeps of suga's mother behind him. sakura scooted over to daichi and hugged him tightly. he let go of the doctor's arm and let his head rest on her shoulder, the two unable to control their sobbing.

"you all may come in if you'd like. to say final goodbyes."

suga's parents went in, and then sakura and daichi. he stood with his back to suga, unable to look at the love of his life on his death bed. it was like a stab in the gut every time he heard suga's mom say "good bye" or "i love you." daichi could hear the sorrow in his mother's voice, the desperation in his sister's cries, and the numbness of his father's words.

finally, sakura tapped daichi on the arm. "we're leaving, are you coming?"

daichi sighed, "no. i need to get some things off my chest. go on without me, okay?" he hugged her goodbye.

he made a groupchat with oikawa and akaashi sending a single text that read, suga's dead. please come to the hospital. i need help.

he heard the door click, and slowly, he turned to face suga. you could hardly tell he was dead. suga looked like an angel. although, he always did to daichi.

daichi couldn't help but cry. he kneeled beside suga's bed, putting his face on suga's chest. he wrapped his arms the best he could around his dead boyfriend. he smelled like blood, and daichi gagged.

"hey koshi," daichi muttered. his sobs echoed throughout the room. he chocked on his cries, listening to the flatline of suga's heart monitor.

he was gone. he was actually gone. never again would daichi get to take him on a stroll through the park. he wouldn't get to hug him, or kiss him anymore. there would be no more nights where they stayed up until the wee hours of the morning on the phone, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. he'd never get to play his guitar for him once last time, and he'd never sing back again.

the entire future they had planned crumbled. go to college together in tokyo. get jobs. suga wanted to be a daycare worker. he always had loved kids. they'd never get to buy a house together. daichi would never be able to drop on one knee and propose. getting married and starting a family was out of the question. none of that would happen now; daichi didn't want to do it with anyone else. he didn't want to love anyone else. he didn't want to live in a word without suga.

he thought back, reminiscing on the time they spent together. when they confessed in daichi's room, their first date, kiss, "time," and i love you's. suga had been daichi's first and only anything, not that either of them minded.

and now he was gone.

"koshi," daichi broke down, sobbing into his dead boyfriend's chest. he shouted, "it isn't fair, this isn't fair!"

daichi regretted a lot. he regretted not coming out publicly. he wished he took suga out on more dates. he wished he would have let tell his friends sooner.

he regretted asking suga to come over. maybe if he hadn't, suga would still be breathing.

suddenly, akaashi and oikawa bursted into the door. they ran to daichi, enveloping him in a hug. akaashi didn't dare look at his friend while oikawa could keep his eyes off him.

he's gone. he's fucking dead. what the fuck happened, oikawa thought, staying wordless, weeping with the other two.

akaashi did his best to keep his calm facade, but it was quickly crumbling under his feet. he stuttered, his voice shaky and weak, desperate for answers, "w-wh-at h-happened?"

"he was h-hit by a car. it was speeding, and t-they couldn't s-stop," daichi hiccuped.

"fuck!" akaashi and daichi looked over at oikawa. "fuck," oikawa repeated, his voice breaking. "fuck everything!"

"oikawa-"

"no akaashi! fuck this! i can't fucking do this!"

"don't lash out at me! we're all hurt! none of us want to do this."

"stop it," daichi pleaded, but the other two didn't hear him.

"don't fucking tell me how to react! my best friend is fucking dead and i- fucking hell!"

"oikawa, he was my best friend too! don't act like you're the only one!"

"please stop."

"akaashi fuck off! i know i'm not the only one!"

"then don't tell me to fuck off!"

"my fucking last memory of him is us fighting! at least you two ended on good terms!"

"so what? i'm not entitled to feel upset? is that what you're saying?"

"that's not what i'm saying at all!"

"that's enough," daichi roared, silencing the setters. "get the fuck out of you're going to yell at each other. i'm not fucking dealing with that."

the two hung their heads in shame, neither moving from their spot.

"neither of you two have anything to say? jesus christ, get over your fucking prides. suga is fucking dead and you two are fighting about who gets to be sad? are you fucking serious?"

"i'm sorry," oikawa said.

akaashi mumbled out an apology, hiding his face in his knees. his body shook with sobs, and oikawa fell to his knees beside him and hugged him tightly. daichi began to hug suga again, pressing his ear to his chest, wanting nothing more than to hear something. anything.

none of them spoke. they were all to busy fighting their own internal crisis. hours passed and the boys stayed in the room, long after they took suga's cold body away.

daichi tried to pull himself together. to say something. "what do we do now?"

akaashi looked up at daichi. he looked sick and exaughsted. his eyes were dull, and swollen from crying. oikawa was disheveled as well, but managed to pull together a response.  "what can we do?"

•••