Paralysis. Such a funny word that can be conveyed in multiple ways. Being paralysed in happiness; perhaps you got news that someone was pregnant or maybe a new job was offered to you. Being paralysed in fear, however, is a far more interesting subject.
It could be caused by the overwhelming feeling of self dread and hatred, overthinking to the point where that necklace of hope seems to be embossed with sapphires and rubies or maybe it's caused by a cycle of abuse and getting emotionally broken by the one you thought you could trust.
Now how do you get rid of this fear caused paralysis. Most would say by talking to a therapist. *scoff* Please, I have tried that but I soon had to quit it. The overbearing thought of dancing a cool blade along her neck and her writhing in fear as I did so started to draw my mind further and further into more seedy act's. Perhaps she'd enjoy the feeling of her blood draining out of her perfectly little body. Maybe some of with will splash on the plump thighs her husband seemed to grab every night they went out.
5:30pm on Saturdays. Never a minute late or early. It's interesting how much you find out about a person when you listen from their garden. Most of the time I hear shouting. A small petty argument here and there but it always ends the same way. The exchange of those fruitful words that any dunce would fall for. "I love you." If it's not said they'll eventually end up tangled in each other's legs by the end of the night. They say I need therapy? You're the one who clearly can't keep it together.
Despite me no longer wanting to see that women ever again, my mind couldn't help but float towards that scenario once more; beckoning me to make my sweet sadistic fantasies become reality. I was being lured in by the possibility that maybe, just maybe her slow death would get rid of my emotions permanent paralysis. That maybe just maybe the delectable feel of her warm blood spewing onto my cold hands would make me feel normal again.
Fascinating how a mere inkling could bring me such child like joy.
