I Could Fall

Chapter Fifty

"You okay?" a voice beside me asked. I turned my head and saw Dashiel.

I didn't realize that he was sitting beside me. I didn't know it was possible to be trapped in your own mind without even having thoughts until this moment.

Ngumiti ako. "Nand'yan ka pala."

Tinitigan niya ako nang matagal. His eyes scanned my face for any disparity. He frowned a little and lifted the menu. "What's your order?"

Inangat ko ang menu na nasa harapan at nag-umpisang pumili kagaya niya. Hindi na niya ako kinausap pagkatapos.

Pagkatapos ng lunch ay tumayo ako at lumapit sa aking parents para magpaalam para sa aking plano.

"Hindi ka ba pagod sa byahe? Magpahinga ka na muna, Hyon," malambing na sabi ni Mommy.

"I'll just be quick po, My," I promised.

"Kikitain mo ba si Alister? You can just tell him to go to the house," sabi ni Daddy.

Of course, my parents would think I'm seeing him. They saw us talking to each other for the very first time since we broke up. Siguro iniisip nila ay nagkabalikan na kami.

"Daddy, hindi po," nahihiyang sagot ko.

"Oh," Dad deadpanned. "Just be home before dinner."

Mabilis na nagpaalam ako sa lahat. Nag-taxi na lang ako dahil may mga naghihintay naman sa labas. It will take time if I book using Grab.

Nagpadaan muna ako sa isang flower shop bago tumuloy sa pupuntahan. The sun was out and biting my skin. I couldn't do anything about it 'cos my white dress was off shoulders and the sleeves only cover up to my elbows. I'm just thankful I have my round shaped sunglasses to shade me from the harsh light.

I felt the heavy weight settling over my shoulder. My chest was tightening by the second and it made it difficult for me to breathe. I bit my lip and slowly crouched and brought down the bundle of flowers that I bought.

"Hi, Atticus," I greeted softly. My heart squeezed tightly. "I miss you. Everyday."

I brushed away a few dried leaves from his grave marker. My lips quivered. "Napatawad mo na ba ako, Atti?"

I heard a heavy sigh from behind me. I had goosebumps all over my body. My body turned in reflex to see who the sound was from. I breathed in deeply when I saw Dashiel.

I remained in my crouching position. I craned my neck to look at him. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" he returned the question.

I licked my lips and faced Atticus' grave again. Slowly, I traced the dates with my fingers. September 1, his birthdate and August 25, the date he died. It's his second death anniversary in less than a week.

"Do you miss him, Dash?" I asked in a tiny voice.

Hindi sumagot si Dashiel kaya muli ko siyang nilingon. Huminga siya nang malalim at humakbang palapit sa tabi ko. He comfortably sat down on the grass. His knees were slightly bent. Iniyakap niya ang mga kamay sa kanyang mga binti.

"Yes," he finally replied.

Natahimik ako. Ibinaba ko ang tingin sa pangalan ni Atticus. I circled my fists tightly as my eyes heated with tears.

"Do... Do you think he hates me now?" I croaked.

"No, Hyon. He loved you and I'm sure... that even in the afterlife, he still loves you," Dashiel murmured.

Hindi ako sumagot. Nanginig ang mga labi ko at umagos na ang mga luha sa aking pisngi.

"I can still remember the way he looks at you. He worshipped the ground you stepped on," he began. I looked at him. His eyes were in front, looking at nowhere. "Seeing it on the sideline was amusing. He'd fetch every ball that you'd throw."