the ghosts of euphoria

atrophy.

i will let the thorns catch / on the margins scrawled across my skin / plush & flushed / thighs & calves burn / as i am scrambling for purchase / the beds of my collarbones / dusted with the fragments of time i've already lost / my lips cracked & bloody / my eyes too sore & searching for what is not there

her mind is gone / i am gone / the scans show / the empty spaces / where i used to be / and i fear / one day / i will wake & i will find myself / completely erased, redacted, blacked out numb

sometimes she murmurs my name like a prayer / manages to faintly smile at some memory / before I am a stranger to her, before our history is only some thing / curled in the aching folds of my chest

she is going, going / gazing out windows / thumb running over rosary beads / and there is a strain behind my eyes / i am afraid to blink / afraid to let go / hoping to live again in the wrinkles / between the lips / in the touch of her hand in mine / knowing the sand is thinning / and she & i are no longer in the same breath