Broken Strings

When did we start to lie?

"Damn Forth don't do this to Beam! For sure people will take endless photos of you and  for worst   you are known family, the media can surely catch it, you being friendly with a girl."  Lam

"tell me what to do Lam, how can I even tell Beam? His Mom is trying to schedule our wedding already.  She thought everything is fine with my family." Forth

"And why is Beam not telling you anything?!" Lam

"..."

"..."

"Because shit your boyfriend is an Angel, he probably worries about you more than himself. He probably want to solve it by himself and he don't you to burden you further with your endless promotions and concerts!" Lam answers his own question.

"Will Beam hates me? " Forth

" He will if you cannot fix this sooner! Of course Beam is not okay with everything Forth!  He is being kept like a fucking mistress! What more If a crazy gossip comes up, that you are getting engaged to a girl! Your Dad obviously plan that scenario! Think ahead Forth!" Lam

"Its a private wedding Lam, just make sure, there are no leak photos. Help me please." Forth pleaded

"Forth! Working in the industry for long , you know that's impossible regardless how strict is your security. We cannot check it one by one if someone took your photos. That's breach of privacy! Besides your Dad may plan more crazy moves. Shit! Why can't he just let you be happy?" Lam

"Dad has worked in the Army Lam, you know that. He cannot accept that I turned gay. Besides his friends in the army has been bragging about their grand children and so Dad wants me to have it in a normal way." Forth

"Damn macho egoist!" Lam
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
And just how Lam, expected it to be a tabloid  with a picture of Forth and a certain girl spreads like wild fire. It was to late to delete the photo online. And the worst , his fans are taking it positively and he is so busy with concerts that it was hard to personally saw Beam. All he can do is call, he cannot go out easily because the scandal is still so fresh, paparazzis are stalling him everywhere he goes.

BEAM'S POV

When the news came out, I was not even surprise. Forth's Dad has been very vocal to me about his plans to his son. Trying to persuade me to break up with Forth. And the crazy thing is, I know that Forth knows.
Forth was there the last time his Dad throws hurtful words to me. I saw his shadow     and I am really over sensitive with his perfume. I can easily know if Forth is near. Forth knows, and still he remained silent.

I cannot help but question Forth,  for trying to act as if everything is right. I thought I was okay with everything as long as he loves me, including being kept for five years. But lately it made me think and doubt him. He cannot even properly explained to me everything. He only said the gossip is not true. I cannot even push him, he had overseas commitment after his Siam Concert yesterday.

I know he loves me.

But maybe it was not that strong to fight for me.

And so from one time to another, my I love You to him has a stain of bitterness to it.

Until I felt like I am an automatic fax reply machine. I don't want to tired him more with my querries and so I just replied to him my I Love You too, everytime he calls me for a goodnight call.

I am trying not to get hurt...

But damn, its been five long years...

And I still feel like, a big mistake of his life.

Maybe it was better, if we did not fall in love on the first place.

I keep questioning why everything arounds us, would love to tear us apart.

I just cannot blame anyone. I am the one who confessed. I am the one who suggest to make this affair a secret.

A/N:

Forgive the grammar and typos, sometimes I am just too lazy to check.🐷

Photos credited to the original uploader or whoever owns it.🐷