Because He Sees Me

Chapter One: A Dream Like A Nightmare

“Your dark blond hair is quite beautiful. Do you always keep it so short?” he questioned.

“If you keep it that short, everyone will be able to see your two moles on the right side of your neck.”

Ah, I’m dreaming.

I know this because no person can truly see what I look like.

This is my blessing and curse that has been passed down through my family for generations.

Every person that sees me will essentially see their own standard of the perfect woman.

This dream always gives me a false sense of hope, that maybe one day, someone will find my true qualities to be the ideal beauty.

The boy sitting across the table from me continues, “Your grey toned blue eyes are also really pretty. They’re almost like melting snow.”

I wake up in tears despite it being a pleasant dream.

I just wish it were real, and someone could see the real me, because that would mean they find the real me ideally perfect.

I immediately forget of the boy I dreamt of.

I wipe my tears and let out a heavy sigh, which catches my roommate Angel’s attention.

“Everything alright Morgan?” She asks, concern ringing clearly in her tone, as she pops her head out of our shared bathroom.

Her hands are on her head trying to pull back hair and smoothen bumps from the ponytail she’s trying to tie up.

“It’s nothing.” I reply while sitting up and swinging my legs off the bed.

She drops her hands and her hair falls following suit, and she make her ways toward me and takes a seat next to me on my bead.

“Was it that dream again?” she asks. I flinch at the question and she takes my reaction as a response.

“You’re beautiful inside and out and as you always tell me, there is somebody in this world that is madly in love with you and just doesn’t know it yet.”

Her words make me chuckle but also make me think.

We’ve known each other since Elementary school and she’s always been unique to say the least.

For the years I’ve known Angel, she never commented in depth on my appearance apart from saying that I’m beautiful like a supportive friend would.

Upon my telling her about my blessing and curse, she became cautious of the subject of my appearance altogether.

I think this is her way of being considerate, but this simple fact left me in curiosity because I want to know how she sees me.

I want to know how she sees me but, I also don’t.

I’m scared that I won’t like her answer.

While I’m astoundingly curious, I don’t think it matters much how she sees me because, even if she doesn’t see me, she knows me better then I can know myself.

She interrupts my thoughts, “I know you have this dream once a month, but didn’t you have it rather early? Please don’t tell me this is because of that guy you broke it off with! Things were just getting serious and it seemed like you were both into each other, so I don’t understand why you ended it with him.”

I frowned, “You know just as well as I do why I had to end it. He was only seeing an allusion of what he liked.”

Angel frowned and trailed off, “I know. I’m sorry for being insensitive, it’s just that-” she paused, “I just want to see you happy.”

I let out another heavy sigh, “You and me both.” I chuckle. She lets out a wry smile and gets up to start back towards the bathroom.

“You’re first class isn’t until eleven a.m., right?” she shouts from the bathroom, this time without peaking her head out.

“Yeah, why?” I reply nonchalantly, though curious while putting on my glasses.

“I’ll treat you to some coffee since it’s too early to drink.” she laughed. I grabbed my pillow from the bed and chucked it at the bathroom door.

We both erupted into laughter and it eased my foreboding sadness and anxiety for the time being.