Pain And Pen

KABANATA 13

Pagkatapos ng ilang minutong paghahanap kung saan ang tamang daan, naabutan ko si Dark na nakapagbihis na sa loob ng dining area. There was a middle-aged woman serving foods. I cleared my throat awkwardly—earning their attention.

Kaagad akong napalunok nang magtama ang tingin namin ni Dark. His expression was impassive—devoid with expression. I still felt intimidated by him so I chose to avert my gaze. Unlike yesterday, he looked guarded today—as if his walls were erect permanently, and that scared me.

The woman serving the food smiled at me encouragingly. For a moment, she reminded me of my mother—or to be precised how would it feel to have mother taking care of you every morning. Nasanay ako na si Papa ang palaging nakikita ko pagkagising, kaya ang ganitong eksena para sa akin ay nakakapanibago.

I forced myself to smile and walked forward.

"Good morning!" I greeted them with all the energy and positivity I have.

"Morning," Dark replied.

I sat on the chair across from him. I'm not used to someone serving me, well, except for Kaeden who did it exaggeratedly just to annoy me—so my awkwardness only increased when the woman put food on my plate.

"Thank you." I swallowed the lump in my throat.

We ate in silence, not a comfortable one.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ay bumalik ulit ako sa kwarto. Dark said I would meet the headmistress this afternoon so I still have free time this morning. I end up admiring my room, and arranging my things.

I gently folded my almost faded t-shirt. I heaved a sigh while looking at the others.

Kaunting mga damit lang ang dala ko, dahil maliban sa hindi talaga namin afford bumili ng mga maraming damit, ay hindi rin talaga ako mahilig gumastos para rito. My money was usually spent on buying books, instead of those fancy dresses.

Noon hindi ko naman pinoproblema kung nasa uso ba ang damit ko o kahit ang brand nito, pero ngayong papasok na ako sa Academy ay hindi ko maiwasang makaramdam ng uncertainty, na para bang kahit anong gawin ko ay hindi ako mababagay, dahil sa damit pa nga lang, mahahalata na.

I was not really that type of person who strived for others approval, and I hate this feeling of self-pity.

I stared at the vanity mirror beside the closet. Upon looking at my own face, I saw the storm brewing on my eyes, and the fear that somehow I wouldn't survive it.

I have straight dark brown hair which I inherited from my mother. It reached on my hips. Kapag sobrang haba na ay pinapa-trim ko lang. My Father didn't want me to cut my hair short, or even apply another hairstyle. Kahit nakakairita ang buhok ko, at hindi ako iyong tipong masipag magsuklay, ay pinagbigyan ko ang kahilingan niya dahil alam kong naaalala niya ang buhok ni mama sa akin. Although I couldn't really do justice with my hair, the way my mother carried it.

My eyebrows were thick but not unruly—one of my physical features that I'm really proud of. Tuwing nakikita ko ang mga kaklase ko na kung ano-ano na lang ang pinaggagawa sa kilay nila ay nagpapasalamat talaga ako na namana ko ang kilay ni Papa. Kahit minsan nagmumukha akong snob at maldita, pero at least natural.

My eyes were huge—something that I was bullied for when I'm still a kid. Hindi ko alam kung anong problema nila sa mata ko. In fact, some of the books I read from international authors usually describe huge eyes as a beautiful asset. Well, maybe each country had different scales when it came to beauty, but still no one should feel like they were outcast just because the people around them have different preferences.

My eyelashes were average, not that long but curvy at the end. I slowly touched my nose downward until my finger reached my lips. Katamtaman ang tangos ng aking ilong. I have a heart-shaped lips, and now it looks so pale.

My self-assessment ended when I heard a knock on my door. Pinasadahan ko muna ng tingin ang loob ng kwarto, at nang masigurado kong walang panty na pakalat-kalat, ay tsaka ko binuksan ang pinto.

Dark's handsome face greeted me. I suddenly felt more conscious of my appearance. I was wearing an oversized t-shirt. Ni hindi man lang ako nakapagsuklay ng maayos. I also knew that the evidence of my nervousness for my first day of class was really noticeable.

He was holding a laptop. My eyebrows creased in confusion when he gave it to me.

"Para saan 'to?"

"You need a laptop for studying."

"Is this free?" I bit my lips.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just consider these as my gift."

"What—but—"

"There's no but, just accept it."

I swallowed hard. I rarely received gifts, and receiving something from my favorite Poet was so damn heartwarming.

"T-thank you." I couldn't even talk properly.

He nodded.

Dark gave me this like it wasn't a big deal for him, but for me it means so much more. Damn. Why did you need to be so cold but thoughtful at the same time?

I was about to go back inside the room when he called my name.

"Hesty…"

"Yes?"

There was a glint of wisdom in his eyes as he looked at me seriously.

"Don't let the pressure dim your potential."

Before I could respond, he started walking away.