p • r • e • s • s • u • r • e

what did you do?

"I don't-" he choked on his words. "I just-" 

"Yeah, Tony," said Bruce. "You're more than all of us. Put together. I'm serious, we're all basically terrible people who do comparatively good things. Steve thinks he's infallible because of the serum, but it didn't fix his curiosity, or his priorities. He's a very polite hunk of meat. And Natasha? Natasha's only here to redeem herself. Also it's her job. Same with Clint. Shit-Thor's an actual god, and all he does is fight with his family. Wanda's afraid of herself and therefore puts a caps her own potential. Rhodey-do I even have to say it? But he couldn't have survived what you have, not in a million years because he's never been alone, Tony."

 "Don't you get that? Everything he's done-everything we've all been through, we've had the knowledge that there are thousands of people on our side and you never did. We never have to make the difficult decisions, who gets to live and who has to die because that's you. It's always you. And you have to plan for the future. And you've built Ultron and Sol's Hammer-you've created  new elements, in your fucking garage-and all your contingency plans because you assume that it's your responsibility to keep us all safe, and-" 

He laughed, tears in his eyes. 

"-and you can. You have. It's not that you think you're better than us, it's that you are. It isn't that you take it upon yourself to fix the world, it's that you think you have to do it alone. And after all this, you still don't think you deserve to be a part of it." 

Bruce paused. 

"It isn't that you think you can play god-it's that you can. It's that we've met got and they don't even measure up. Imagine how inferior everyone must feel. How it pisses them off when you downplay it, as if you weren't the most accomplished human being on the planet."

Tony's mouth hung open. It wasn't often he was rendered speechless. The look in his eyes was bemusement, and it wastragic.

"Well then," he breathed. 

Bruce reached over to Dum-E and took a swig of whiskey out of the bottle. 

"Yeah."

"That's-did you just call me God? Wait-did you just call me better than God?"  He smirked.

"You don't believe me, do you," said Bruce, bitterly. And then he realised the worst part of it-that of course the greatest Avenger, the greatest human had to be him because he was the only one who would never believe it. He was the only one who would keep trying to prove himself. 

Tony huffed. 

"Yes well how can I, Bruce? How can I? What sort of a fucked up thing is that to say? That I've made the concept of a higher power irrelevant through the sheer power of human innovation-no, Bruce. No. Things like that don't happen. People like that don't exist."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"'Cause I'm looking right at him."

Tony gulped. He broke, just a wee bit, then he fumbled to cover it up. He was too exposed. Guilt was the only emotion he ever felt this intensely, and he didn't feel guilty now. He wasn't sure what he felt. 

"But you need to stop. This is bullshit."

"That's a very broad statement, B-"

"The drinking, staying up all night and trudging through the house like a fucking zombie, punching yourself in the chest-yeah, you thought I didn't know?"

Tony's face paled.

"You weren't-I don't-"

"Stop. There is nothing you could possibly say right now. You're slowly killing yourself. And I know you might not care, but it's killing us too because we have to watch."

"Bruce, I'm in complete control of the situation-"

"-which is precisely the problem."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Why do you still have it?"

Tony blinked. 

Oh god, not you too.

"Get the shrapnel removed. You aren't in a cave anymore, and god knows there are people here who could do it. People we know."

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't-" Tony cradled his head. "I don't know. I mean I do, but I don't. I know it's just...I know...how this ends, okay? I know what's gonna happen if I don't do anything. And I'm supposed to be afraid, worried-I'm supposed to feel something. But..." he tossed his hands. "I don't. And I think that if it's already...if this is already happening then maybe...maybe I shouldn't try and stop it. Maybe it's time....yeah, it's time," he whispered.

Bruce looked for tears, listened for screams, any indication of Tony's pain but there were none. He just looked puzzled. Defeated. 

"Shit. Shit, man, I..." he reached out and held him close because this just became so much worse than he'd been prepared to deal with. He didn't see the contorted face, the silent scream, the eyes brimming and the jaw clenching behind his shoulder the minute he wasn't looking. He never did. 

He felt the shaking though, lungs fluttering and spasming as if they were trying to fly away, the taut muscles like armour, to shield him from love. Bruce planted a soft, friendly kiss in Tony's wild mop of hair and stood up, held out a hand to pull him up. 

"C'mon. Let's getcha something to eat."

"Thanks Shrek, but I'm good."

Bruce grinned. He wasn't feeling better-it was clearly an act. But at least he felt strong enough to make an effort. 

""Kay. I'm just gonna go get Pepper-"

"Fine, fine."

A/N

Lemme know what you think, feedback really helps, since this is sort of an intense thing to ask a friend to read lol.