intertwined (colby brock fanfiction)

chapter ninety-three

"carolyn..." my voice comes out as a choked-up whisper when we get away from the crowd of people.

"are you okay?" her eyes look frantic and panicked. "i'm okay... i'm so sorry... i choked up there and i should've just... i should've said something, anything at all. i'm so sorry-"

"andro, it's not your fault. the question was intrusive and unprofessional. i told them not to ask things like that, but they clearly didn't listen. that wasn't your fault, i promise. i'm sure we can rebound before your books release."

my eyes are watering but i blink the tears away as i compose myself once again. i can't slip up like that again, not so close to the release of my book. i can't come off as a naive author, not when i try so hard to keep up my appearance of maturity. the strength i portray during events like that is the only impersonality i have left after spilling my guts in my writing. i can't do that again, i won't.

"do you want to take off early? we can just talk about logistics of next week another time... does wednesday work for you?" carolyn is sweet to me, way too sweet. she should be yelling at me for slipping up and ruining the interviews. she should be telling me that i am in trouble after the way i just acted. she shouldn't be telling me to leave early and rescheduling our previous plans for the day.

"yeah... if that's okay?" i ask politely and she nods. "it's no problem, do you need to go up to my office? did you leave anything in there?" she asks and i shake my head no.

"i have everything in here," i hold up my small black purse and she nods. "i will see you wednesday at noon, then?" she asks and i nod. i feel awful for messing up, and even more awful for agreeing to leave early. i just don't think i can stick around and be reminded of my fuck-up all day.

"i will see you then," i respond before giving the black-haired woman a hug goodbye. she places a kiss on my cheek and i smile like a child. i will never get used to how she does that, even though i know it's just what her age group does.

"take care, andro," she dismisses me and i walk in the opposite direction of her, back towards the lobby.

"are you alright?" randy asks me as soon as i arrive.

"huh?" i turn to him quickly and he points to a screen that is live-streaming the press conference. that's awkward, now carolyn can't even bribe them not to air the awkward question and my even more awkward lack of response.

"i'm okay, thank you for asking. have a good day!" i wave at the grey haired man before finding my way out of the building and into the parking garage.

"fuck," i mumble under my breath when i have to sound my car alarm several times just to find it. no matter how many times i come here, i will never remember where i parked. i have made the same mistake so many times, but the space is just too large for me to remember, even when i repeat the label on my spot multiple times in my head before leaving my car. carolyn has offered to pay for my own reserved parking spot several times, but i have always felt too bad to accept it.

•

"hello?" i answer my phone as soon as julias name appears. it's been a few days since we've spoken, and nearly two weeks since we've seen each other. she used to make it a point to visit me at home when i lived there, but when i moved back to LA, we drifted apart. the process was natural, and i don't feel a strange sense of unfamiliarity when i speak to her. she is always so kind to me, and i will value her friendship forever.

"hey! what are you doing tonight?" she asks and i grab my planner from my coffee table to double check on my availability.

"nothing," i respond simply and she giggles on the other end. "you're going out with me, then. okay?" she asks and i have to resist the urge to laugh. "i don't know... you know that's not very much my style..." i trail off and shake the memories of our previous adventures together. we used to drink all the time, but when i started getting serious in my career, i shut the bad habit down quickly.