For some reason whenever I try to write about my feelings in the journal that my counselor gave me, I never have anything to say. You would think that with all of the emotions that constantly rush through my brain during every second of the day... I would have something to write. But I don't.

I put down the pencil and let out a sigh.

Two hundred dollars per session should give me the healthiest mind anyone has ever had but yet, here I am, with the same amount of anxiety that I had before counseling.

"Jordyn, can you stop being lazy and do something productive? You haven't done anything for the past two weeks but sit in your room on your phone." My mom came into my room and placed a basket full of my freshly cleaned laundry by my door.

"I've done just as much as Jaden but you never call him out." I gave her a blank look.

She rolled her eyes, "whatever." And forcefully closed my door without actually slamming it.

I turned back towards my notebook and placed it in my drawer full of miscellaneous items that I never use. I doubt that notebook will ever have anything written in it.

I could hear my mom complaining to herself about how no one ever helps her around the house. I want to help, but my brain tells me to do so many other things and instead of doing them I procrastinate. I even have an organized list of things that I need to do, but I never get to it — Which is sad, seeing as all I ever do is sit in my room, on my phone, by myself —just like she said.

My stomach started to growl, making me aware that I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. I got up and started to walk down one set of our double stairs.

My brother Jaden was in the hallway on the opposite side, struggling to move our dining room chair from the last few stairs up into his bedroom.

"What are you doing?" I asked with a confused look.

"My gaming chair broke." Was all he said before successfully disappearing into his room with the chair. I bet mom has nothing to say about that.

When I got to the end of the stairs my mom was nowhere to be seen.

I was going to tell her that Jaden took the dining room chair, but when I looked out of our kitchen window her car was gone from the driveway.

An unappetizing looking banana sat in our fruit bowl alongside some bright red apples. I considered eating healthy and just grabbing the apple, but, instead I pulled out a bag of chicken nuggets from the freezer.

To be continued...

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 12, 2020 ⏰

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