Half of a Love Story

09. ALEXIS

I can see her falling for you, just like I did

27th January 2013

I twisted and turned, the sheets getting tangled between my legs. I buried my face further into the pillow and pulled the sheets above my head but it was no use. I just couldn't get back to sleep.

The sunlight that streamed through my bedroom window was determined to get me out of bed. Oh, how I wish I hadn't been so drunk last night that I forgot to pull close the blinds. I would do anything to get back to sleep right now, desperate to escape the reality that had dawned on me last night.

Even though I was wide awake, I stayed in bed. It was nice, peaceful with only the light buzz of the New York traffic outside. I had grown so accustomed to it that I was able to drown out the sound.

If not for the thoughts whizzing around in my head, it would have been perfect. It would have been more than perfect if Caylus were here with me right now, but knowing him, he had probably gone back with Taylor to her apartment.

They would have spent half the night making passionate love, and the other half asleep, wrapped up in each other's arms. How perfect for them, I couldn't help but think bitterly even though I knew it was not their fault.

It was no one's fault that Caylus didn't love me back. Not even his.

I couldn't force something that wasn't there, despite how much I was desperate to do just this.

I can't help but daydream about him all day and now I lie awake at night, too, just thinking about him and what we could have been. He would always plague my mind and own my heart. It had been like that my whole life.

A tormented sigh escaped me. I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. I cursed the sun and its rays of sunshine once again. At least when I was asleep, I wouldn't be thinking about him, though I suspected that he reigned my dreams just as he did my life when I was awake and conscious.

The clock on my phone read 11.16 am.

This was later than I was used to waking up. Though I had drank a substantial amount of alcohol last night. I was just glad that Ashley had forced us all to eat some food at a nearby 24-hour burger place before we headed home for the night. While my head was still buzzing a little, it was definitely much better than a ranging hangover that would dictate my whole day.

Pulling open the top drawer of my bedside cabinet, I popped two painkillers into my mouth and washed them down with the water from the water bottle that I always kept on my bedside table.

Pulling back the covers and swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I couldn't help but wander if Caylus was home. Slipping my feet into the cute bunny slippers he had gotten for me a couple of weeks ago, I wondered if he had spent the night at her place or if he had come home alone. How I wished the latter was true.

Judging by the blanket of silence that resonated through the apartment, he was either still asleep, or he wasn't home. This time, I wished the latter wasn't true.

Ready to hurt my own feelings, I grabbed some pain killers for Caylus as well as a new bottle of water from the fridge. If he was in, then I would leave them on his bedside table and leave. But if he wasn't in, then I wasn't sure what I would do. Not that there was anything that I could do.

Knocking on the door with the hangover supplied in hand, I waited for an answer. When there was none, I knocked again and waited briefly before opening the door.

I didn't know then but less than a moment later I would have sincerely wished that I hadn't even bothered in the first place.

Surprisingly, he was home, but what came as even more of a surprise was that he wasn't alone.