As We Fall (Blaise Zabini Fanfiction)

Chapter 25

Hey guys! As most of you probably know, coronavirus has a lot of people in self-quarantine, depending on what country you live in. Hopefully, this means I will have much more free time to write/update! Everyone stay safe and healthy!

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Zoe

I press a fingertip to my bedroom window, trailing it across the glass as a small knot begins to form in my stomach.

Tomorrow, I go back to Hogwarts, and I don't really know how I feel about it. 

In the morning, I'll wake up and begrudgingly roll out of bed, repack my winter break bag, and wait down in my grandpa's flower shop for Eric, Stevie, and her parents to arrive. Then, they'll drive us all to King's Cross Station, where we'll barrel through the brick barrier between platforms 9 and 10. Once we get on the Hogwarts Express, it'll only be a few short hours until the three of us are back inside the castle with the rest of our school. 

I'm not sure if I'm ready to face Hogwarts again just yet - being back in Copenhagen has been a dream for me. Waking up in my yellow bedroom every morning and staring out the window at the busy fishing pier. Helping my grandpa unload holiday-themed plants out of wooden crates in the flower shop downstairs, and giving him endless hugs. Midnight talks and late night snacks with Stevie and Eric. I don't want these things to end; Copenhagen is my happy place. 

My heart sinks at the thought of leaving my grandpa again. I've lied to him plenty of times over break. Whenever he asks about Hogwarts, I paint him a happy picture filled with laughter and magic. I do this because if he truly thinks that Hogwarts has been like a dream for me so far, he'll sleep better at night. I don't want him to know it's made me afraid or angry - he doesn't deserve that. 

Surprisingly, though, there's a part of me that misses the giant castle. The delicious meals under the starry ceiling in the great hall, the warmth of a nighttime fire in the Slytherin common room, the adrenaline that rushes through me during a quidditch match. Despite what I've gone through so far this year, Hogwarts has still begun to feel like a second home. I'm just nervous to see what the months following winter break will bring. 

Despite all my nerves about Hogwarts, I've found myself thinking about something more personal while I've been home. Almost every night, I've pulled out the dusty picture of my father from beneath my bed, just to look at it. After all, I haven't been able to stop thinking about the thing since the whole fiasco with Julian about my parents. When I look at the photo now, I analyze it even more critically than I used to. My biological father's strong jaw and sharp nose don't match mine, but our eyes are almost identical: watery blue, tinted here and there with shades of green like the ocean. When I used to look at the picture, it brought me a strong sense of curiosity. Now, after what Julian said, looking at it just makes me feel cold - almost like I hope to god I never have to meet my parents. 

A knock on the door that I recognize to be Abraham's withdraws me from my thoughts. I softly tell him to come in, and the door glides open.

The sight of the tall and burly man standing in the doorway, gentle as a doe despite his size, makes me realize how much I will miss him during the coming months. I beckon him to sit down on the opposite end of my mattress. 

"Are you ready to go back?" He asks, an unsure smile flickering on his face. Maybe he doesn't know how he feels about me leaving again, either; the concept of me being away from home for so long is new to the both of us. 

I try to hide my uncertainity, and force a cheery grin and a nod. It doesn't fool him, though.

"Don't try to trick me, Zoe. I know you - after all, I was the one who changed your diapers." He smiles. "Now, tell me what's bothering you. Is it something about Hogwarts?"