2nd march 2020
been doing lots of k recently, got more today
feel so lonely, the group is torn apart by drugs i think, angela and i haven't really spoken since last week and i miss her but i'm too scared to reach out to her in fear that it will just make the situation more real
i know i have connor always . and i have scarlet and lily and bella but i miss angela and helena and i think they think i've just ditched them which i haven't
but angela can be so volatile and argumentative it's hard
the rest say i need to stop feeling so guilty because it's not my fault and i haven't done anything wrong but i can't stop feeling like i've been a terrible person
i've felt so anxious today. lists lists lists. i'm so worried about the things i've got to be doing but there is nothing i need to do! just a sense of impending awfulness i suppose
