140°

Spaces and Uncertainties

For a while, no one talked. No one looked at the other. Thirdy is just looking in front while Bea is just looking at her fingers. "I'm sorry for being cold and distant these past few days. I know I've been unfair. I'm really sorry." He started. Bea just nodded her head again, she is doing so so that he will know she's listening.

She can't look at him right now, even in the rear view mirror, she just kept her head down. It seems like she will break down anytime if titignan nya si Thirdy.

"These days, I am not certain of what I feel for you. I just want to ask for some space for some time. Cool off, ganun. I think I have to solve this myself. Ayokong idamay ka sa gulo ng utak at feelings ko." He continued.

That hurt her. She started shaking the moment she heard that. Imagine the man you love being unsure of how he feels towards you. It hurts big time. As much as she doesn't want to cry, her tears betrayed her. She just felt huge drops of tears fall on her lap.

"Wha-what happened? Did I do something wrong? May iba na ba? " She asked struggling. Those are the things that first came into her mind.

"No, no, no. This is just me. Ako lang 'to. Kaya I need to fix this myself. I just need time." Thirdy wanted to hug her because he knows she's hurting, but he knows even if he does it, it won't lessen the pain she's feeling. He is not the one who can comfort her right now.

"Okay, Thirds. If that's what you want, I'll give it to you. I'll give you the space you want." Bea is so hurt right now, but she wants to save this. She wants to save the relationship with Thirdy. That's why she agreed to what he wants. If giving him time for himself can do the saving, then she's willing to wait. She's cannot lose the man she loves, not when she knows she can still do something.

"Thank you, Bei." That's the only thing Thirdy said before he enveloped Bea in his arms. "Thank you for understanding my situation. I am really sorry for hurting you." Bea just nodded while her head is on the crook of his neck. She is now wiping her tears while hugging him back.

"Bei, I would understand if you'll reach the point when you can't wait for me anymore. I will understand if you will get tired. I know I am being coward and selfish right now. I am really sorry for that. Just tell me 'pag hindi mo na kaya. I know I don't deserve you. You don't deserve this." Thirdy said, still hugging her while running his hands on her upper back.

What he said made Bea cry harder. "Shhh. It's okay. I would rather wait for you than having you break up with me. At least I know that you still want this. Somehow, even if you are uncertain."

And then there was silence again. She was just hugging him tight and he is patting her shoulders while returning the hug. They are both in pain. When Bea's sobs stopped and she calmed down a bit, she broke the hug.

"Sige na. Babalik na ako. They may be looking for me now." Paalam nya.

"I'll take you there." He said holding the key to start the engine.

"No na. I can manage to walk naman. Go to your condo na. I can walk naman."

"But, Bei. Just let me at least do this. Just so I can make sure na okay kang makaabot sa dorm." He insisted.

"Hindi na, Thirds. I think I need some air din. I can manage naman na." She refused again.

"Okay. Just... just be safe, please."

"Yes, I'll be. And... Thirds, if wala na talaga, just tell me. Please." Bea said with her voice almost cracking again.

"Yes, Bei. I will. Ikaw din, if you think you don't want this anymore, if you can't wait until I have sorted out my feelings, tell me." He replied.