Guess its Never Really Over

Good Bye.

“Jess I’m so sorry I didn’t mean it! I was so trashed I didn’t know what I was doing!”
Snooki cried

“Then you didn’t give a single shred of a fuck about our friendship because trashed or not I would of been in your head as you were fucking him and you either didn’t care or you’re just a fake friend!”
Pauly,Ron,Sammi and Mike had walked in and sighed
"Im so sorry Jess-"
"You knew too! All of you!"
I said slapping Paulys hand away
"If it makes you feel better, I didn't know. Nobody tells me anything"
Mike said shrugging
"Yeah we didnt know either. Really Jess"
Sammi spoke up.
"Yeah cuz you guys live for drama"
Jenni said rolling her eyes
"Evidentally so do you guys. Thank you Sammi. It actually does make me feel better"
I said walking over to the 3 of them. Feeling like they were the only ones I could trust at that moment. Which was sad cuz it was the 3 usually causing problems..which makes sense as to why they werent told.

“Guys we can work this out right? I mean we’ve all done stupid shit-“

“No! No okay?! I’ve dealt with this bullshit for years now of vinny and her flirting! I already had to get iver him and Angelina! I’m done! Done! I’m not gonna be be like Sammi and forgive over and over when borh of them CLEARLY DONT CARE ABOUT ME god damn it!”
I said but heard a door open and close. Vinny came in. I turned and saw him. Deena saw my face as we all looked over seeing Vinny with shades on and he was snuffling.

“Pauly stop her!”
Deena yelled

“You piece of shit!”
I yelled and I ran at him but Pauly grabbed me just as I landed a hit on Vinnys chin. It wasnt as strong of a blow as I coild usually throw but that was because Pauly had grabbed me but He still fell on his ass and held his chin

“I deserved that”
vinny said softly keeping his head down

“Yeah you fucking think?! Fuck you! Fuck you Vinny! I hate you! I fucking hate you!”
I yelled as I sobbed trying to break free from Pauly but shit, his arms were like tree trunks.

“I’m so sorry babe I didn’t mean for any of this..I was so fucked up. I dont even remember doing it"
Vinny said, slowly standing up and taking his shades off. His eyes were red and puffy.

“Fuck that! Fuck you! Fuck Nicole! Fuck this show,this cast, this trip! Fuck it all! I’m going home! I’m done with all of you! Pauly let me go! I wanna go pack my shit so I can get the fuck out of here!”
I yelled as tears flowed

“I’ll take you up. I know he deserves it right now but you can’t keep beating on him because you know he ain’t gonna hit back”
Pauly said and carried me up stairs.

I sat on my bed and sobbed. This is exactly why I didn’t want to give my heart to anyone...and now I paid the price...once I was able to stop crying I began to pack

As I zipped my bag I heard a knock

“Please have, don’t go”
I saw vinny...he looked so...pathetic

“You made your bed now sleep in it. I’m sure Jionni is gonna magically forgive her but I won’t. I’m not gonna keep getting cheated on! This is the 3rd time you’ve cheated and now it’s with my best friend. I’m done Vin. I’m going home”
I said and ripped my mic off my back and grabbed my suit case, purse and book bag and went to walk out but Vinny blocked me

“Move”
I said bitterly

“Can I...have one more kiss good bye? I know I don’t deserve it..I just wanna be reminded for the rest of my life of how badly I fucked up”
Vinny said sadly. He let a tear fall and I began to cry again. He pulled me in a hug as i cried on his chest. Why did it have to be like this? After a minute i calmed down and took a deep breath looking up at him sadly.
I kissed him deeply and we made out for a minute before I quickly pulled back and ran to the stairs. Vinny slid down the door and put his head in his knees. As I was walking to the door I heard foot steps. I looked back and saw all the roomies.

“You’re really leaving mamas?”
Mike asked sadly

“I can’t stay here...it hurts too much”
I said sadly

“Jess we are so sorry..All of us..we should have told from the start.” Jenni said as I hugged her

"I cant trust any of you right now.. But in time im sure once ive healed ill be reach out"

I said bitterly as Jenni nodded with glassy eyes then hugged Jenni then Deena.

“I'm so fucking sorry..but I’ll miss you so much”
she said and I cried

“I'm so fucking mad at all of you...but I’ll miss you too”
I said then hugged Ron.

“Be safe out there Jess. Take care of yourself”
Ron said hugging me. I hugged back

“I wish you and Sam the best of luck”
I said and then hugged Sam

“We’ve had our differences but I will miss you Sammi”
I said and she hugged me again

“I’m gonna miss you too. Im so sorry you're going through this. If you need me call me anytime”
She said sniffling.

I looked at Snooki who was in tears the whole time

She looked up at me and shook her head
"I know you hate me..I hate me.. I know I'll never make this up to you and Im so sorry I put you through this.. For what its worth I really was your best friend and I still love you so much"
Nicole said sobbing. I started to sob too as i hugged her and we just sunk tobthe floor crying together.
“I’ll get over this snooks...and when I do.. I’ll call you. We have too much history to end it like this”
I said in a cracked voice.

“I’m so sorry I love you”
She said sobbing.

“I know boo...I know...I’ll give you a call when I’m ready and my heart has healed”
I said and she nodded. I helped her up and looked at Pauly

“Bye big bro”
I said smiling through tears

“I’ll see you soon shawty. Gotta check up on my mini me. I'll be hitting you up to see if you wanna do some shows and tour”
he said smirking and hugged me, lifting me up and spinning me.
"Sounds great"
I hugged back tightly and then he set me down. I looked up at the balcony from the second floor and saw Vinny watching with the most dead expression I've ever seen. I didn't even give him a second glance.

“Bye guys”
I said sadly and with that I left. Went back to my lonely home..
After a month of crying, I got motivation back and began to write music again I moved to Cali for business reasons and things got much better.........