The True Meaning of Happiness

Monologue

The voice of silence fills the air as my eyes began to open.
My normal dreams of chilling screams and silent killing sprees.
All of the violence came to an end as the ticking came to life, darkness. I'm alive. I'm sitting on my throne without any sort of light. Until I felt myself. I was feeling the scars, feeling my cold, pale skin. I was shocked I could feel something, because I couldn't for the longest time. I kept wishing to become someone that I'm not. I don't want to play the role as the bad guy here.. That's all I do, I contemplate everything. I play as this ugly beast who sits in it's throne everyday just watching the light of the day go by. I guess it's time to reveal it all.

So I'm awake, another day wasted. Each and everyday I talk to myself if there was ever a purpose of waking up anymore. My life could have ended long ago. So, the question is why am I still here? Why do I feel so despondent? I'll never get the true reason, but here is why I am inside this place that I personally call home.

It all started when me and my wife got married. We headed home and had our hunnymoon there. It was nice satisfying, just a little after a while. Things weren't the same. Me and her started having heated arguements that eventually led to me almost screaming. Everyday after work, I could only think of the worst that could happen to me, to my wife or our relationship. I had raging thoughts, but the worst was yet to come.

Two months later, we both become very distant towards one another. I wouldn't look at her and she wouldn't look at me. She slept in the bedroom and I slept in the livingroom. It's everyday now and I thought about moving on from it and to try to work things out with her, but she wasn't strong enough to look me in the eye, to even say a word. I know she had a spark of light somewhere in her, but where is the question. ALright, so everyday after work, I would fix supper and head to bed, thinking about what I could do. I was too late when something sparked inside my head on the way home.

This one particular day, I come home from work with flowers, a sorry letter, and chocolate. She loved different kinds of flowers and she also loved dark chocolate, so I thought this would work. I opened my front door and froze.. There she was. Not moving a muscle. A few dried up tears and a bruise. My heart was pounding in anger and sadness so bad that I almost tripped while running towards her to get her down. It took less than ten seconds to free her. I sat her down on the couch and checked her pulse. There were no soul in her. It was like my world just crumbled to a miniscule.
Not only did she take her life, she left me a note on the kitchen table, and so I read it.

Dear Frank.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to see the shame out in the open. You are confused, I understand and I know words aren't enough to heal your scars, but it was for my own good. I am hurting, and I knew you was too. So once you've read this. Remember, I will always love you. Non of this was your fault, I promise you. Please move on from this disaster and live your life as a poet. You never knew how much you meant to me after our marriage, I just wasn't enough for you. You never had a smile on your face. You never seemed happy with me, so I took care of it for you. Move forward, live happy. You will find someone better than me.

I will always love you.

Riley.

After I read the note, I couldn't believe any of this was happening to me. The love of my life was gone and I was alone; meaningless. Worthless. Hurtful and full of despair. I had to do something, and her corpse was number one on my checklist. I carried her out in the backyard's field. I dug up a hole and burried her deep underground.

I head back inside, not knowing what to do. I could barely remember who I was, or even what I was. I smashed my glass and plates out onto the floor due to my rage. I threw my television and ripped open my folders and burnt all of my creations. I even destroyed myself.