Crash Landing on You - Edelweiss Diaries

Part 11 - One step at a time

Her movements slowed as she sighted the uniform jacket that she'd sewn a heart over the bullet hole. What had begun as love letters to him had made the world take notice of her gestures. At the felicitation ceremony, she'd felt undeserving. All those red hearts that she sent out into the world were prayers that he be well and alive. It was the only way she'd known to wait.

Returning the jacket back to the hanger, her fingers glided over his sweaters and shirts that she hadn't seen before. As she picked up a bunched up shirt left by the ironing board and took in the mix of detergent and a male scent that held his signature, she smiled sensing her undoing. "Awh" she let out, placing a hand over her eyes. It was official that the man had turned her into a mush of emotions.

She settled on the shirt in hand and quickly threw it over her head when she heard the piano go silent. After a few seconds, the same tune started over and this time around, she paid attention. She didn't know the piece, but the number of notes that rippled at any given instant indicated its complexity. The image of his long fingers reaching over keys spread far and wide brought her to a standstill. The melody hit a new tempo and pitch that spelled searching, a yearning that mirrored hers until he'd found her. Unawares, tears streamed from her eyes.

"Why did the piece sound like this? Is it him? Or is this just how anyone would react to this piece?" She asked herself. Listening to him play out the piece she'd long sought and discovered it was own piece of music for his brother, had brought her comfort. The simple melody had belied his mastery. At that moment, as she drowned caught in an eddy of emotion, she realized this was another part of him, she hadn't met.

Weakened by the reckoning, she sought the bed outside. Pulling up the covers up to her chest, she leaned back, surrendering to the pull of the melody that he repeated again. Eventually, the blinking red light on her phone drew her back to reality. She searched the bedside table and its drawers to check for a charger when a bunch of unbound papers came into view. On the foremost page, she recognized his handwriting that read Edelweiss Diaries. Curious, she picked up the thick pile to find all her messages to him. Each of her messages was given its own page. In the empty space, underneath the printed messages, she spotted hand-written notes from him, which she understood were his ardent responses to her foolish endeavor.

Stopping at a random page, she read her message first to gain context for his note.

"Ms.Edelweiss (Dated Mar 30th, 2019): You always took me by surprise when you kissed... gave me a peck."

She went onto read his note, disbelieving that in an unbeknownst parallel world, her messages had reached him and received a response too.

Well, it was in clear display for me to see just as much. That said, the uncertainty in me was over the guilt of taking you into a kiss when I couldn't proclaim my affections for you as openly as you did. I had overestimated my will to stay around you and not be affected. It was only natural that while standing outside the hospital lobby, I spectacularly failed only a moment after I asked you not to misunderstand my wistfulness. I had no right to engage you in a kiss when I couldn't dare define who we are to each other. I still don't know if I'm fated to promise you a future. Until then go easy on me, will you? Take it they were kisses from a floundering man who couldn't *let you burn him up, nor resist you.

*Possession by A.S.Byatt (paraphrased.) Don't mind me quoting lines from others and marking citations - it's an old habit from grad school. I live on borrowed words, after all.

Tears stung her eyes, as she continued to read and re-read the line that anchored to her that instant. She was half-smiling too, allowing the stream of tears to ebb and flow. It had been one thing to find handwritten recipes to make noodles and burnt rice, but this was a letter directly addressed to her. Until then, she didn't know words held such weight or pull.