Crash Landing on You - Edelweiss Diaries

Part 5 - Shadows of the past

Eun Dong reluctantly took action, when Jyeong Hyuk gestured to carry on with his bidding.

However, as Eun Don approached the keyboard, Jyeong Hyuk's face strained with growing unease, "One moment," he urged. "Any chance you can directly access the messages through the server without it being marked read in the Inbox?"

Ju Mok and Eun Dong turned in unison to face each other with a spreading glee. "Rootkit!" they squeaked in delight, showing off their newfound cyber skills. Like a boss, Ju Mok blew at his fingers and got to work, once he logged out of Jyeong Hyuk's ID.

"It'll take some time," Eun Dong, announced and ran to grab beers for everyone.

Jyeong Hyuk excused himself to the balcony with a drink, while Eun Dong gave a rundown of the steps that Ju Mok was taking to get into the server.

It was hard to ignore how far along the boys had come in a year's time. When they'd started at Unit 180, as rookie gamers who had nothing on the trained hackers, he had been skeptical they would last a month. They had labored endless hours to fast track through computer programming and essential English. In place of gratitude, he felt a sliver of guilt that occasionally surfaced in the instances Jyeong Hyuk believed he was driven by self-interest.

Taking a sip of the cold beer, he convinced himself that joining Unit 180 had been their choice just as much. They wanted to cheer him on in his pursuits and he could use comrades who would look out for him, he repeated in self-assurance.

Eun Dong stepped into the balcony, to hand him the printouts of her messages and left to get back to the conversation indoors.

Despite the curiosity that raged as a tempest, he was conflicted about reading her notes. Was it fair to be privy to her thoughts, when he wouldn't let her in on his? he asked himself.

Unseeing, he peered at the pages. He didn't know a way past their stalemate of living on either side of the DMZ. At least not yet. The helplessness was caging at best.

As his resistance dissolved, the words slowly came into focus.

"Ms.Edelweiss (Dated Mar 30th, 2019): You always took me by surprise when you kissed... gave me a peck."

Just like that, he was drawn into her gripes. The beginnings of a smile appeared by the corner of his lips. He flipped to the next message.

"Ms.Edelweiss (Dated Mar 31st, 2019): It's not fair that the night you took me in your arms and tucked me into bed is one I can't remember. I'm jealous that it's your memory alone and not ours.

Now that you have spoilt me for all men, I don't know if I'll ever know what it feels like to be carried to bed, by a man... I miss you, Ri Jyeong Hyuk'sshi"

Despite the numbing cold air that surrounded him, he was shaded by the warmth of nostalgia.

Something about seeing her smile in the glow of the campfire, amidst the play of shadow and light had brought on a desire to catch her face at every turn. Drunk from the soju that was made sweeter by the clamshells, she couldn't last long in the wordplay game with Chi Soo. When she leaned unconsciously onto Eun Dong, Jyeong Hyuk got to his feet to move her inside. In a blink, he decided to scoop her into his arms, ignoring the looks Chi Soo and Ju Mok threw his way. As he stepped inside, away from the studying gaze of his fellow comrades, her head lolled back. He tilted her towards him to support her neck on his shoulder. Her face against his jaw again took on a descending awareness that streamed down to the parts of him that touched her.

The sensation familiar from the last night when he'd kissed her in a frenzy, to mislead the patrol officer. Though he'd heard the loud thud of the door sealing them shut inside the cabin, it had taken him a tad bit longer to let go of her lips. It was the same that morning when they'd jumped off the cliff and he had to hold onto her for dear life. Earlier that evening too, she'd sprung a surprise request that he give her a ride home and jumped up to sit on the bicycle's makeshift front seat. As they rode through the bumpy unpaved roads, his face had lined up in close proximity to hers in many touch and go moments, awakening the same known and yet unfamiliar sentience.

His hand encircling her waist recognized how small she was. The reckoning appeared to justify that he was rightfully protective of her. In acknowledging his odd possessiveness that he alone be her guardian, he knew that she had become a precious burden to him.

She curled up closer to him when he lay her down on his bed, her fingers half grazing his collar bone. He took a moment to remain still, taking in the softness of her face. It was the first time, he decidedly faced their nearness, an intimacy that lingered in their averted gazes and unspoken words. After a long moment, he chose to leave it unnamed.

Today, he wanted to tell her that it wasn't a mere memory of carrying her in his arms, but his secret odyssey to cross over to a place where he allowed himself to be.

Eun dong came back with more printouts, taking him out of his reverie. With his reserves spent reliving the moments that had set him on the journey he was, he was ready to leave. Asking that Ju Mok not mess up and cover his tracks, he headed back home for the night.

Jyeong Hyuk prayed that he had the resolve to not read any more of her messages until he could handle the chaos her words would raise in him.

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A month later... in Pyongyang

General Ri Myong Su, took the aisle seat, while his granddaughter, Hwang So Jin, insisted that she will have the window seat, in the aisle behind him. It left Jyeong Hyuk to choose between the reticent General and chatty So Jin,  he preferred the former, but So Jin vetoed them both.

"Ri Jyeong Hyuk Dongmu, I suppose you must have taken this flight many times when you were studying in Swiss." So Jin quipped, with the prime of her youth echoing in her careless cheer.

Jyeong Hyuk gave his ready smile and nodded.

"Do you really think I could get into your school?" So Jin made a face. "You will talk to your Dean and make it happen?"

"You will do well in the audition," he said patting her head. "Don't worry."

Just then his phone rang. It was Ju Mok again.

"Ri Jyeong Hyuk Dongmu, you haven't yet decided to take on the General's invitation to go with him to Swiss" Ju Mok's voice held a shake of nervousness. "Have you?"

"Why?" Jyeong Hyuk wished that Ju Mok wasn't as circuitous at times.

"I just saw an update on Se Ri Dongmu's Instagram page." Ju Mok paused and Jyong Hyuk awaited anxious, listening to Ju Mok scrolling his mouse. "I think she's already in Swiss. The picture is from two days ago."

"You are telling me now?" Jyeong Hyuk dropped into a whisper. "I'm on the plane to Macau and then will board for Swiss from there."

Seo Jin, lifted her eyebrows at him and he acknowledged her with an uneasy smile, before turning away from her.

"Check the ID and send me the message." Jyeong Hyuk ordered. "Doors close in 10 mts," he said, before cutting the call.

He wanted to assure himself that Swiss was too big a place for them to run into each other, and yet, his heart raced. Their fates were far too intertwined and beyond predictable, for him to believe so.

There was no telling if he was running away from her, or towards her.

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Five days ago... in Seoul.

Ms.Edelweiss (Dated Jan 27th, 2020): It'll nearly be a year since we parted. As promised, I'm living every day as we would meet the next. I'm leaving for Swiss with Omma tonight. She doesn't believe that I'll be fine by myself. I want to spend the time beginning from my birthday to yours, at the place where the shadows of our past remain... a place where your music made me hold onto life.

For this birthday, my wish is that you find me again. While wandering the crowded streets, I hope that we bump into the other, like lost travelers who are each other's destination...

Well, you'll always be mine.

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