She walked down the stairs in a sluggish gait. Head down, bloodshot eyes, legs swinging down like there’s no energy left in them. Tucking down her fingers to the edges of her carelessly put up white floral dress, she stopped as her bare feet felt the cold of the water, where the lake met the rock steps. She fell down on her hips as if pushed by the gentle air which stroke her black hair away from her face and pulled out a bundle of a few white pages stained in the ink of a dreadful past. She opened the first page.
Dear June...
She slammed shut the paper as tears fell out of her beautiful brown eyes. She pressed the pages inside her clenched fingers as if waiting for the ink to dissolve into her skin. When suddenly she hears a sob. She looks over her shoulder to see a boy in white shirt and messed up hair, face burrowed in between his bent knees, hugging himself into some pain that he must’ve been hiding from the whole world. Something inside her sparked a little courage. She tied the bundle into a roll and threw it with all the rage she had been harboring inside of her into the water.
The splash of water broke the bubble of the boy as he looked up in reflex towards the lake and then to the girl who was now looking at her with eyes smudged in black kohl. They look at each other, staring blankly into the black holes inside of each other’s hearts.
“Sir? Ma’am? This is the last round before we close up. Do you want to go for a ride?” said a man in a rugged shirt and half pants as he gathered his paddle boats up on the shore beside the stairs.
They both look at him and stare at each other again. June wiped her face and stood up, extending an arm towards the boy. He looked at her hand and then her face as she faintly smiled. He wiped his tears, straightened his shirt and held her hand as she helped him get on his feet. They walked towards the man as he guided him into a paddle boat and asked them to be back in half an hour.
The sky started losing its light as the sun started to bid farewell. They paddled away from the shore and soon were in the middle of the lake. June stopped to paddle and so did the boy. They sat still for some time looking into infinite distance with uncertain eyes but muscles of their face relaxed than before. The only conversation they had was through the sounds of their breaths which slowly started to rhyme with the symphony of the waters of the lake.
Within some time they paddled back to the shore. The boy got off and extended his hand to help her step out. Conscious of the parting, he became nervous.
“I... umn… it was... I’m Oliver. I’m staying in the Lake View Resort behind.” He blabbered nervously pointing towards the building.
June smiled and spoke slowly, “Me too.”
“See you at dinner then?”
“Yeah, sure”
They smiled at each other and started walking towards their resort, collected their keys from the reception and parted ways.
June reached her room. Tired, she fell on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
Two hours later, Oliver went down to the dining hall and looked around. Disappointment covered him as he realized that she wasn’t there.
Did she fall asleep?
Did she not want to come?
He thought as he moved across the hall, uninterested by the food. Soon as he reached the bar at the end of the hall, he found a familiar face outside the glass door. It was her! She was sitting on a tall stool with her arms on a small round table, her eyes dug into a book and a glass of wine beside her. I scanned her as I ordered a beer inside at the bar to realize her eyes were still and she had been on the same page for a while.
What is she thinking?
What’s bothering her? Perhaps she is escaping company.
What is it that she threw in the lake?
“Sir, your beer.” A manly voice interrupted my thoughts.
Oliver picked up the bottle and walked towards the glass door. She didn’t turn by the creaking voice of the door as he opened it.
“I thought you didn’t come.” He said as he pulled a stool for himself across the table.
“Yeah, it was too suffocating inside and I wasn’t hungry so I thought I’d better sit here.” She smiled and looked away.
Both of them sat there for a while lost in their own bubbles of thoughts, looking at the moon and the dark trees, feeling the cold breeze on their skin.
A little later June stood up and stammered, “I’ll…I’m gonna. I think I’ll go back to my room now. It’s getting cold here.”
She walked away before Oliver could speak a word.
Loneliness started sinking Oliver in as the second beer got the better of him. He ordered a tequila and then another and in no time he was in tears again. Not weeping like before, but his eyes just couldn’t stop them from flowing. He sat there for a while, staring at the stars and then he walked inside.
June sat on her bed, with her knees to her chest holding herself from flowing into a boulevard of emotions.
KNOCK KNOCK
Startled, she looked at the door, thinking of all the people who might’ve found her while she was escaping from everybody.
Another knock made her crawl out of bed and towards the door. Afraid, she looked out of the peephole to see Oliver standing in front of the door, covered in tears.
She opened the door and he almost fell with it. He held the door and straightened himself up. June looked at him, still not sure what to say.
“I’m sorry, i… I heard your room number while we were collecting our keys from the reception. I’m sorry… I do not mean to… I just… I wanted to talk.”
Something about his eyes made June put all her guards down.
“It’s okay, c’mon in”
He walked inside and June followed him and sat of the chair across the bed where he sat.
He sat quiet for a while, as if still deciding what to say. After a few minutes, he pulled out his wallet from his jeans and took out something that looked like tickets.
“2 months ago, my dad got these tickets to a workshop named The Happiness Project. He was really excited about us doing activities together. It was just the two of us since my childhood. My mother died giving birth to me. Dad never remarried and perhaps he didn’t need to because he was the best mother I could’ve ever had. Dad got really sick around a week after booking these.” He paused for a while as if reaching for lost breath. “During his last days, he made me promise that I’ll go and probably even tag someone along.”
He was all in tears until he finished speaking. June stood up and sat beside him and put a hand on his. A few seconds after he gathered himself up and started to speak again. “It’s a few kilometers up the altitude and”
“I’ll go” June interrupted.
“You will?” Oliver inquired like a kid.
“Yeah, I’ll go with you” she smiled as she softly pressed his hand.
In tears again Oliver hurriedly wrapped his arms around her. “Thank you so much” he said. June smiled and rubbed his back.
“I’m sorry”, he said nervously as he pulled away. “I hope you don’t have other plans?”
“Besides crying myself to sleep every night for another 15 days? No.”
Both of them giggled.
Oliver handed over a ticket and read the one in his hand.
“So we leave tomorrow at 10 in the morning? Would that be fine? I have a car and it’s a 2 hour drive.” He said, finally sounding relaxed.
“I’ll see you at breakfast. 9:30.” she replied.
Oliver looked and her and smiled on how kind she had been to him.
He went back to his room and laid on his bed with a smile on his face and a peaceful mind. For the first time in a while he fell sleepy. He closed his eyes as the warmth inside his heart cuddled him into sleep, dreaming of a promising tomorrow and a left behind past.
June slipped out her sling bag from the cupboard and pulled out a brown leather diary from it. Pulling out the strings, she flipped a few pages as she reached a page with a photograph in it. It was the last thing of him which she couldn’t have the courage to get rid of. After staring a while at that picture, she tore it from the middle, separating her face from the picture from the guy who stood beside her with his arms on her shoulders. Dumbing the other part of the photograph in the dustbin beside her bed, she started flipping pages of her diary when she reached one that said
I PROMISE TO GET OUT OF THINGS AT THE RIGHT TIME BEFORE THEY START TO RUIN ME.
She stared at the words for a while and then thought,
Perhaps the universe fulfilled my promise for me while I was being ignorant. Perhaps it is a good thing overall that I found out I was being cheated. Perhaps Oliver is my way to escape this pain. And anyway he lost the only person he had in life. My pain is nothing as compared to his. I must go.
“I will go.” She said as she lied down on her back and closed her eyes.
Oliver woke up at 6 in the morning. He sat on his bed still being unable to believe that she actually said yes. He looked to his left and picked up the photograph on the table.
“I’ll be fine dad, don’t you worry. I’ll take care of myself. And I’ll take care of her, I promise. I love you dad.”
He hugged the photograph and sat there with eyes closed.
June woke up at 8 in the morning and the first thing she did was text her best friend about her whereabouts and sent a photograph of the ticket. She pressed SEND and switched her phone back off immediately.
Perhaps after this tour I’ll not be coward enough to face everybody I’ve been avoiding.
It’s difficult to end a 10 year old relationship. Worse when all of your family and friends knew about it.
Shaking her head, she let go of her thoughts and stood up to get ready.
9:30AM
She walked down for breakfast and looked around. She saw him pouring juice into his glass.
“You ready?” she popped up behind him suddenly.
“Not if you scare me like that.” He laughed.
They sat together having breakfast and discussing about th details of the workshop.
Oliver stood up as they finished.
“You get all your stuff and meet me at the gate. I’ll get the car out and ready.” He said wiping his mouth.
June went to the gate and saw him waiting already with a smiling face. She opened the door and sat inside.
Oliver started the engine and suddenly turned it off and turned towards her.
“Hey, what’s your name?”
She smiled
“I’m June”
They looked at each other and smiled
~
This is not a story of the past or the future. This is hardly even a story. Actually only a part of it.
But a part, that matters.
It is a tale of endings and new beginnings.
We all have our share of pain. But as wise Rafiqi once said, “Past can hurt. But you can either run from it or learn from it.” Though our past does define who and where we are today. But it’s upto us to decide who and where we will be tomorrow. What matters is our choices. Whether you chose to help yourself and other to take that one step towards happiness. It takes continuous effort to be happy.
And as someone said
SOONER OR LATER, WE’VE ALL GOT TO LET GO OF OUR PAST.
