The Sound Of Silence

Prologue

It's just like any other day. It's cold. It's February. And it's Sunday. I have to go to work.

My alarm goes off, alerting me to yet another day. Lexi and Chris are still asleep. I have lots of time to get ready. I turn on the shower and let it run hot for a few minutes while I brush my teeth. It's so cold. 

I think of all the things I have to do. I wonder what we will eat when I'm finished. I wonder if it will be a good shift and I hope it passes quickly. 

After my shower I do my make up. I still have lots of time. I can have two cups of coffee, maybe. I put in my hearing aids as I'm walking up the hall. It takes a few minutes for them to turn on. I switch on the kettle and wait for it to boil. 

I'm scooping in the coffee when it hits me. Nothingness. Utter silence. I look at the kettle to check if it's boiled. It is. I haven't heard it. 

I take two deep breaths, then twenty. I count to one hundred. But it's too late. The hysteria is already creeping up my throat. This has happened before. If I speak the hysteria will be in my voice. It will consume me. I need to calm down. Quickly.

I carry on as normal, pretending everything is OK. I get Lexi up and dressed. Chris is already up somewhere. Bathroom, maybe. I sit on the couch with a sense of impending doom. The sweat is sticking to the back of my uniform. So much for having a shower, I think. I laugh, hysterically. When Chris comes in, I break down. I tell him I can't hear. I can't cope. I need to go to work, they need me. He says no I may ring in. Then I realize I can't even do that. I won't hear them. The crying gets more hysterical. I can't breathe now and I have pins and needles in my hands and face. 

"It's OK", he says "I will ring them". He goes off to make the call. I am shaking uncontrollably. I need to see a doctor right now. I need to get the steroids. But, I don't move. It's still early. 

Thundering in my head, the sound of silence overwhelms.