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I actually hate taking the photos. I just want to be pretty. Ever since the incident happened, i felt really insecure. but i've gotten over the insecurities. I just hide it.

I bet your wondering what happened. Well let me tell you. It all started when i was 11. Back then, i hated the camera. My parents used to take the whole family out on mini holidays during the summer. We loved it of course, but one thing i hated, was when mom always used to whip out her camera and take photos of us. I always kept telling her to stop. But one specific photo stood out. We were all completely oblivious about it. Something happened before we took the photo. I told my parents that my face started burning. It wasn't a painful thing, it's like when your in the bath and the steam becomes too much and it's like you are gonna pass out. It was like that. So i rushed over to my parents. i told them about my face and they gave me a eccentric look, as if i was taking shit. But then my brother remembered what happened. This sounds so irrational but, right before we took the photo on the beach, a man tripped over a rock. He was smoking, and you can probably tell where it ended up. On my fucking cheek. Fuck my life. A cigarette on my cheek. Well now that's something i can check off my bucket list: "Get burned on the cheek by a cigarette". But in all seriousness, it did start burning. Basically, as soon as that cigarette hit my fucking fat ass cheeks, the mother fucker blew out. It wasn't an instant pain but it was definitely a shock.

But we paid no attention to it. We carried on with our day, my face didn't hurt that much. But we looked through the photo and we seen the mark on my face. It was a huge hole in my cheek. I still have it today. I'm 17 and i still have it. The only thing that can conceal it a little is makeup. That's why i wear it everyday. To hide that giant hole in my cheek.

Yeah but that's why i take the photos. To try and make myself look photogenic, more attractive. Ever since that day, i've been taking photos, putting on makeup every day to hide my biggest insecurity, which i now don't have.

But i can't stop.  And i need help

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