Lean On Me

One of Those Girls

 "I met Roger on June 28th 1971, he could wear a 32 suit, a small t-shirt and a 71 pants...that's a 28 inch waist in the US size. He was such a scrawny little thing. Of course, he was so broke that if he ate twice a day he was lucky. Roger has gone up not quite two trouser sizes. He wears a 34 suit and a medium t-shirt…and he’s still just as sexy if not sexier than the day I met him. I watched his hair grow out past his shoulders and I watched him cut it off. My point, Veronica, is that he’s still him. He’s still the same man I met on June 28th, 1971 despite everything in between. Celebrity entitlement clouds your vision, makes you lose focus and it takes it’s toll on the mind and body. I used to sit in the floor of the house we rented and let him talk about how exhausted he was while I doctored his wounded and bloody hands from shows. When the stage lights go out and when the makeup comes off all your have is the one person you can lean on.” I looked over my shoulder and flipped my light cigarette into the brush. “I never said it doesn’t hurt especially when you give up so much of yourself for someone else. I never said there isn’t an amount of betrayal that comes with it. But…there is one factor that’s very important to remember: it’s physical. John was done with that girl immediately after what was done was done. There’s no emotions tied to it. Whomever it was, wanted that proximity…to be near someone famous. They wanted to be desired if even for ten minutes/ They wanted to say I made out with John Deacon.It’s temporary and it's because there is a hollow shell inside.” I stopped there as her tears subsided, the warm LA breeze rippling the water of the pool. “That man loves you, so dearly. He loves you, Veronica.  She shook her head.

 “How…how were you ever able to get back into bed with Roger after that first time? I’ve barely been able to go to sleep at night with John. I’ve slept mostly when he’s awake and I don’t have to face him. How did you do it?

 “How many men do you think I’ve been with?” I asked of her, knowing it was something we had never discussed.

 “Huh?” she asked. I was going somewhere with this, but I needed to have her guess.

 “Before I met Roger, how many men do you think I bedded?” Veronica shrugged.

 “Uh…I don’t know….maybe….ten? Twelve?” she guessed. I looked at her intently. “Oh….oh god….uh…fifteen?” I continued to look at her. “Twenty?” Her face was very serious.

 “Thirty-seven.” I answered her. “Thirty-seven. That’s not counting any random blow jobs. My point is this. I used to be that girl. I used to be the hollow shell of a girl. I used to be the one with the proximity. The daughter of an affluent breeder of race horses...boys and married men alike practically lined up at my door for the honor of saying they had fucked Lydia Campbell. They didn’t care about me; I didn’t care about them. It was physical....I was that girl who made out with John. I was once just like her. I haven't been that girl for years now beause Roger tamed me. And when he needed it most, I tamed him. Roger was nothing more than a notch in my bedpost...until I fell in love with his stupid arse.” I was very silent for a moment. “I don’t want to sit here and tell you to get over it because that’s not right but I will tell you that you have a man who loves you…a man who would fall off the end of the Earth for you….a man who fell victim to entitlement. That’s all it is, sweetheart. You get over the entitelment and you conquer anything.” I moved the hair from her face. My words had softened her eyes. I could see my Veronica coming back to life.  “You and John….think about when you met. You were on completely even terms. Your entire marriage has been built on the two of you sharing things equally. You’ve both been suffering equally. It’s time to take the power of your relationship back.” I finally managed to get a smile out of Veronica. "Don't be afaid to defend him. I know you want to. The shock hurts but what hurts worse is potentially losing the man you know and love....that's real pain."

 “I can’t believe I’m sitting here taking relationship advice from someone who willingly invited another woman into her bed.” Veronica had to laugh and so did I.

 “Hey…I know you’re being so pissed off at be about that wasn’t about the threesome. I knew somethin’ was up. “ I hugged her again.

 “The thing is…you’re right. You’re right about absolutely everything.” Veronica let out a sigh of relief. “You know, it feels so good to talk about this to someone who….who listens and…knows exactly how to get me back in perspective. God…” she wiped her eyes again. “I feel so much better just knowing that you know why I’ve not been at myself. I swear I’ve been more worried about a kiss than post-partum.” She confessed and smiled again. 

 “You’re my best friend. You need someone to lean on. You never know, I may need to lean on you. Don’t be afraid to ever lean on me. You know that.” I told her. It forced a smile across her face.

 “Thank you…thank you for helping me….when I…when I was so judgmental toward you.” She said, feeling saddened by her previous actions.

 “You missed my birthday party.” I said as pouty as I could.

 “I know I did! And I’m so, so sorry! I just feel so terrible that I missed your party.” Tears welled up in Veronica’s eyes again.

 “I feel more terrible that you’ve missed out on your life.” I said, pausing a moment. “Although, you also missed Freddie trying to whore Brian out for $50.” I said. Veronica laughed again, it felt so good to hear her laughter.

 “Oh my god, he did not do that!” she insisted.

 “He sure as hell did! Fred tried to sell Brian, Roger and I took ecstasy which we will never do again, we went to McDonald’s, John and Roger might experiment with each other someday…you missed it.” I said, recapping the nights’ events for her. She laughed again, sincerely and wholeheartedly. Amazing how a little bit of talking and a little bit of listening could completely heal a person.

 “I hear Roger bought you a Corvette.” She said. I shook my head.

 “The very one I wanted.”

 “Okay, tell me the truth….the truth about your threesome. You ravaged Debbie Harry while Roger wanked off and watched, am I right?” Veronica asked. I laughed at her, my hand running all over her back.

 “Well, that’s how the night started…it got a littler more slippery than that.” As I looked into Veronica’s tear stained eyes and looked at her big smile back at me; I could tell that she was going to be okay. Reassurance. That’s what she needed. Reassurance that John wasn’t cheating on her. Reassurance that she was okay. Reassurance that he physical was temporary but a rock was forever. We sat there beside the Ritz-Carlton pool, our conversation having not come to an end, talking like the two friends we had been for years. We didn’t have much time left in Los Angeles. It was time for her to live again.