the DCP

The.application

"Thanks for your interest, but..." a phrase I feel now a spiritual connevtion with, considering how many times I have heard it in the last month. Seven different jobs, ten interviews, no luck on a new job, or even an offer. I had all but lost hope on getting out of the fast food industry. Not that there is anything wrong with Cane's Chicken Fingers, I just felt lost and stuck. Like when you are driving to the mountains and you realize the white flakes compiled to such a large degree that every where you look it is the same, no escape. For months I had been cinvincing myself to get out of bed.

"You have car payments, Kate," I would remind myself as I begun getting ready every, single, day. "What about your intense hookah addiction, someone has to pay for that," I would remind myself every night at my best friend's house as we unwound on her big fluffy couch. "That Café Rio for lunch doesn't pay for itself," I would think as I reluctantly handed over my debit card already nearing zero.

I needed a job, but I hated mine. It seemed like no escape. So every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday I would convince myself: do it for the pay check.

And if you know me, you understand how incredibly, absurdly, un-Kate like behavior that was. I do things with my whole heart, with passion from deep inside. So forcing myself to live pay check to pay check caused a spiral of self-loathing and depression. I didn't want to go out, because that cost money; I didn't want to do anything.

It was an unusually breezy morning in the early days of October when my mom decided today was the day to harp on me. She went from my mess room to my shambled life and misguided priorities, to my future.

"I don't understand why you don't just work for Disney again," she sighed. And to be completely honest, I didn't know either. I always found myself talking, yearning, and obsessing over anything Disney. "You should just apply again."

No. I internally protested. I couldn't do that again. Long hours, lack of sleep, and a crazy roommate who just wanted to hang out all day and never slept. The thought even made me exhausted. I continued on with my long night of work immediately following a long day at school. My coffee mug caused my phone to buzz a little louder than normal in my car, and I instinctively grabbed my phone and checked. Another set of emails appeared in my inbox, usually junk that I never looked through that caused my notifications to compile to over two-thousand. But one sender caught my attention: Disney Recruiting.

They sent emails out pretty often to alumni, just to continue the connection and interest. Typical marketing things I learned in my classes, but I wasn't thinking rationally when I saw the name pop up on my iPhone screen at a red light just outside of UNLV.

I became distracted by a text from one of my sorority sisters that pulled my attention away. "Hey Violet, I just parked are you here?" She asked, waiting for our daily routine of Starbucks, a student union sweep, and then class together. A typical Wednesday.

"At the light? Be there soon!" I replied quickly before the said light turned to green. As I breezed through the parking lot, I thought nothing of the email, I was more focused on classes and the copious amount of work I had to do.

I pulled into the nearest parking spot, and waved as I got out and situated my book bag. Alexa waited for me as I frantically searched for my keys to lock my car. A sigh of relief exulted when I realized they were right where I always left them. I swear, I thought I was going insane.

As I sat in class that morning, I found myself wondering further and further about my lack of ambition to work and even find a new job. The hunt was seeming to be less and less successful with each application. Every time my work was brought up I couldn't help but to feel a pang of retorted angst. Yet again, feeling worthless and exhausted. As the day progressed I found myself in running shoes, jeans, and tucked in red UNLV pride shirt and a black baseball cap prepared for a long day at work.

To my surprise, it was slow and simple. My manager came by multiple times checking in, also finding herself a little more bored than usual. Finally, around 8:45 she gave in and let me off an hour early. I found myself at home earlier than planned and crashed on top of all my clean laundry and covers.

That Thursday, the crew had decided we were hanging out and in a slightly intoxicated state I opened my emails to check, finding the Disney email still open. I sighed, lounging on my couch watching parks and recreation for the million and a half time from the beginning. I put my phone down and thought for a minute before grabbing my dad's computer and opening the email.

"I'm doing it," I announced to my dog, whom was lounging on the couch with me, exactly where he shouldn't have been. And I realized, I was exactly where I should be too. I was stuck in quick sand, and was refusing to give up that easily. This email, my rash decision, and a pretty stellar resume became my rope and help out.