the corner of first and amistad

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Ukai Keishin grows weary of the city.

He's a country boy at heart, born and raised in a place where he can glance outside and see the stars anytime at night. The crickets sang to him when he jogged through the chilled night air, lungs cold and body warm.

Here, the cacophony of cars keeps him awake at night. People are only polite because they have to be. There's nothing but the black sky above him, empty of the starlight he'd taken for granted as a kid.

When he's twenty-two, he moves to the city to make a better life for himself. By the time he's twenty-six, he's just tired, in a bone-deep wary sort of way. He takes up smoking a year and a half in. It isn't as if it'll kill him any more than this place will, after all.

Sleep seldom comes easy. He turns in around ten every night, but without fail he'll toss and turn until two or three. After that, he finally gives up and rises again. Sometimes, it's easy to occupy his mind with the same two late-night television channels until he passes out or the sun comes up. Sometimes, he's too restless.

Tonight is such a night.

His apartment is on the third floor of the complex. The rent is spiked high for such a dingy, busted place, but it's barely in his pay range and he's lived here for the past four years, so it's home now whether he likes it or not.

Despite the time he's been here, it hasn't changed much. It's the same ratty couch and low table that serves more as a catch-all than anything else. The carpets are stained with things he doesn't care to question and the occasional bugs aren't favorable, but at least he hasn't seen any rats thus far. The appliances are liable to break and there's been two break-ins at the complex since he's lived here, but not at his apartment.

The window to the fire escape whines in protest as Keishin shoulders it open. It doesn't have a particularly good view unless the viewer is fond of brick walls and dark alleyways, but Keishin doesn't particularly care about his view. He shuffles out in his cotton pajama pants, no shirt, no shoes, bleached hair loose around his face, armed only with his lighter and a single cigarette.

It's three a.m. and the city is still awake. The cold air bites at his face as he flicks his lighter several times without success, attempting to light his cigarette. Finally, it gives him a feeble enough flame to light the end, and he takes a long inhale. Distantly, he hears the sounds of the cars on the busy streets. There are sirens somewhere in the distance, high and wailing above the blinding lights and dark skies.

He exhales into the chilled air, watching the smoke curl into wisps and fade into the darkness.

Everything feels kind of muted, like he's the only thing living in this moment, like the city is bearing down on him all at once, softly requesting his humanity in exchange for blinding lights and endless noise and eternal pleasures.

God, he misses the stars. He misses the serenity of the country, even with its mosquitoes and nosy people. It was so easy to forget the world there, in his quiet bubble of serenity.

He shifts from foot to foot in a half-hearted attempt to warm up, exhaling another breath of smoke from between his teeth. He considers, not for the first time, that this is a bad habit he needs to break, but it's the only thing that never fails to ease him on nights like these.

Keishin snubs the last bit of his cigarette and turns to flick the butt off the railing and go inside, but scuffling sounds and muffled voices give him pause. He watches as two men, hoods flipped up over their heads, wrestle a third into the end of the alleyway. The third man is visibly afraid, even from this distance, short black hair ruffled, glasses askew, and clothes disheveled.

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 14, 2020 ⏰

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