The Accidental Hacker

Chapter One

“If it helps, I also have A’levels and a degree.”

I peeked through my fingers. “In what, Reality TV Studies?”

“No, Classics, actually.”

“As in ancient Rome and Greece?”

“Exactly!” I could see his teeth as he grinned. They were very nice teeth, straight, white and that smile… well, I could see why she’d fallen for him, even if half his face was in shadow.

“Okay.” Maybe this one wasn’t such a loser. “So do you have a steady job?”

“I’m not sure it qualifies as steady.”

Of course. What use was a classics degree in modern life. He’d probably run up massive student loans and now couldn’t get a job.

“Do you at least have a profession?” I asked, teetering between hope that maybe, although young, this one might be decent, and fear that she had found a younger version of Terry the Tosser.

“I’m an actor, darling.”

My head fell to the desk, and I was only saved from a serious concussion by my forehead landing on my arms.

“Fantastic,” I groaned. “Don’t tell me, you are the back end of a donkey in this year’s Cinderella pantomime.”

“Are you calling me an ass?” he sounded amused.

“If the shoe fits,” I muttered. “Although technically, I called you an ass’s ass.”

 “Are you quite all right?” he asked.

I raised my head from my arms to see him peering at he, he’d gotten a lot closer to the screen so I could see even less of him now, and his features were no clearer.

“Fine,” I huffed. “Just promise me that whatever you and she get up to, I never hear about.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be a hard promise to keep.”

“Good. And if you hurt her, I know a hundred untraceable ways to poison someone.”

“That sounds fascinating.”

“It’s not. Now is my mum there, I’d like to talk to her.”

“Well that’s the thing, I don’t actually know who your mother is.”

“The woman who brought you home, probably from a pub, and has been lavishing food and attention on you ever since.”

“Well, the thing is, there is no one like that in my life right now.”

“Then why are you on her computer?”

“I’m not.”

I checked the name on the window. “You are Captain Hammer, and that is the username I set my mum up with earlier today.”

“Yes, I can see that, and you’re Doctor Horrible. You’re certainly living up to your name but unfortunately, this is my computer, not your mother’s, and I have no idea how this program got onto my machine. I thought it was a practical joke.”

I frowned. “Did you find a word document open on your desktop?”

“Yes. I used the instructions on it to call you.”

“But you don’t know anyone called Teresa?”

“Nope, I’m afraid not.”

“Do you have team viewer installed?” I asked.

“Yes, I have a friend who uses it to fix glitches for me from time to time.”

I fumbled about for my slip of paper with Mum’s log in details.