When Will You Tell Me?

2. When Will You Tell Me?

"So, this year we're both seeded in the Kisei Tournament." Akira spoke as he and Hikaru sat at the running sushi belt. "How far do you think you can go?"

"All the way to the title, of course. You're not aiming any lower, are you?" Hikaru glanced at Akira.

"Do you even need to ask? Of course not." Akira frowned. "I'm going to take that title from Kurata this year."

"You'll have to fight me first. Either way, Kurata's not going to keep it." Hikaru put a piece in his mouth. "So you're not eyeing the Gosei this year? Nevermind that, I thought you'd go for Meijin first and foremost."

"Is there any reason I should pass up on any of them? Unlike you, I can handle multiple tournaments and titles at the same time." Akira raised an eyebrow, challenging. "I simply brought up Kisei because it's going to be the earliest."

"Who said I couldn't handle multiple tournaments, huh?" Hikaru got annoyed. "I actually entered more leagues than you did last year!"

"And won in none of them. Know your strength and make up your mind first. Which do you want?" Akira frowned.

"Right back at you! Running away from the Gosei? Is Ogata too much for you to handle?"

"I can defeat both Ogata and Kurata at the same time!" Akira glared at Hikaru, obviously pissed at the mention of his failed challenge. But then he took a sip of tea and cooled down. "Realistically speaking, I think I can try for two, so Kisei and Gosei. Maybe Tengen too. Tournaments are stressful."

"Not the Meijin?" Hikaru seemed slightly surprised. "You're comfortable seeing someone else have it?"

"Of course not. I'm going to grab it sooner or later." Akira said. "But it's not the first title I want attached to my name."

"Choo~sy. Don't forget there's me too. You can't afford to be picky before you can make sure to win, yeah?" Hikaru grinned. "The one to challenge Kurata for Kisei will be me, sorry."

"Don't you have your own goal?" Akira asked. "Stop fooling around. You want the Honinbo, correct? Aren't you pissed someone else is holding it?"

"...Yeah." Hikaru answered, after a long pause that Akira can't understand. "...I do want it. Actually, it's the one I'm going to pour everything into."

"I thought so." Akira still had his eyes fixed on Hikaru's face, curiously. There he went again, fading into a slightly dazed expression, somewhat melancholic. "You're obsessed with Honinbo Shusaku, after all."

"...Yeah."

"Then you have to win all the way to Ogata, then defeat him, no different from me. And I'm also in the League, I'm not going easy on you either."

"...I know. Of course not. That's the whole point of us being rivals. Geez, Touya!" Hikaru snapped out of his mood, but something still felt off, and it upset Akira to no end. He had no way to point it out, without sounding like he was making a fuss out of nothing. So he held it in and grabbed himself a plate of squid sushi.

Hikaru did it again. From time to time when he got weird he would slip back to calling him 'Touya'. Akira felt annoyed at himself for getting upset by such a small thing, which probably meant nothing at all. But he couldn't help it. He wanted to know. He wanted to know what was going through Hikaru's mind. He couldn't help seeing the invisible wall between them every time he felt this way. He couldn't help being reminded of the frustration that haunted him for a long time, the frustration caused by the existence and mystery of Hikaru. It should have had nothing to do with him, yet he got caught up in it and he struggled, he struggled until Hikaru finally came to him in the professional Go world. Since then, they had never let each other out of sight. Akira could talk to Hikaru anytime he wanted, could play him and verify him anytime he wanted. He knew Hikaru now. He knew Hikaru so well he probably knew him better than his own family and Go circle.