Letter I Cannot Send

Letter #1

I am sorry I am not good enough.
I am sorry I am not as good as other people.
I am not talented.
I am not stunningly beautiful.
I am average.

I always thought that my life was perfect until I got a bit older. I had this big picture of the happy perfect life in my head. But as time past by, that image changes. My vision got blurry. I can't see perfection anymore. I always see my failure. Me as nothing to be proud of, though I graduate with flying colors.

I can't say I'm happy go lucky, but I can get most of the things I want. All I have to do is ask. Growing up, I always had this thing like I can have everything. But comes high school and I failed. For the first time, I felt normal in a way that not everyone in the class liked me unlike during my elementary days wherein everybody knows who I am even I didn't say name. I only have few friends way back, though I am acquainted with a lot of people, I only consider two as my most valued and closes friend. I survived.

Then college, everything is new. No one do care about who and what you are. All they think about is either how to pass or how to have some fun. I am lucky I meet my circle. People who wouldn't judge. People who doesn't care where you came from. People who understands. I am very much happy this time. A lot of things to face, but I have everything I need. I can conquer.

Then after college, work. Another new world. Wider world. Then, I lost it. This time, I really lost it.