Stumbling

Habit

My heart's around your finger

The stitches torn and frayed

One right move, I'll come undone

Shatter, in this mess I've made

Oh, what an ugly place I'm in

And isn't it a comfort?

The old familiarity

Of having no control?

Head between my knees

Haven't I been here?

I can feel it your words

But nonetheless, I make believe

I know you'll laugh on through it,

A quick I'm sorry

And then maybe

A hug that cannot happen.

But you'll be wary of your words

And I'll be wary of my smiles

Dancing around my confessions

It's a game I hate to play.

Oh you know that I'll still speak

But every word that leaves my mouth

Will hang onto your hips

In breathless anticipation

Oh, what an ugly place I'm in

And isn't it a comfort?

The old familiarity

Of having no control?

I'm still shaking, there's no end

Haven't I been here?

I can feel it in my bones

But nonetheless, I make believe

 Until one day you get sick

Of dragging my words around

And you'll sever my ties with

Your fumbling fingers

My lungs'll puncture

Inevitably quickly

And fill with the poison

Reality brings

 What an ugly mess this is,

Staying alone is my precaution

Written screams give way to nothing

As your taunting memory fades

Wish away the past

'til someone catches my attention

And captures my affections

Renewed hearts breed old habits.

And old habits die hard.