I Am Not a Robot [IT 2019 Reader Insert]

01 | To Old Friends & Lost Memories

   "Sweet, Eddie, you got married!?" Richie said in shock.

   You giggled. "Probably to a doctor's note, or somethin'."

   "Why's it so fucking funny, dickwads?" Eddie countered.

   "What, to like a woman?" Richie responded. You burst out laughing.

   "Fuck you, bro," Eddie said, pointing an accusatory chopstick at Richie.

   Richie giggled, before bursting out: "fuck you!"

   "Aw, boys, am I not included?" You stated, mocking offense.

   "Shut the fuck up, [Y/N]," Eddie said, though he couldn't hide his laugh.

   "What about you, trash mouth, you married?" Bill asked.

   "There's no way Richie's married!" Beverly's argument sparked a conversation between everyone, you adding in 'he probably is, to a goddamn dumpster.'

   "No, I got married," Richie said. You scoffed.

   "Richie, I don't believe that," Beverly said, making your thoughts verbal.

   "When?" Ben asked.

   "Haven't you heard?" Richie asked.

   "No," Eddie responded, shaking his head in disbelief.

   "You don't know?" Richie asked, and Eddie scoffed in response.

   "No, your mother and I are very happy together!" You nearly doubled over laughing at Richie's joke, as did everyone else.

   "Holy shit," you huffed, "you fucking killed him, dude!" You high-fived Richie, the two of you resorting to your childish way of congratulating each other for a good insult.

   "Fuck you," Eddie responded, at everyone, but especially you, Bill, and Richie, for driving the joke further.

   "No, no, she's very sweet," Richie paused, "sometimes, she'll put her arm around me, and she'' whisper to me, she'll go—" Richie began to make a bunch of unintelligible noises, imitating Jabba the Hut, and everyone but Eddie almost fell over laughing.

   "We all get it! My mom was a great big fat person!" Eddie said, throwing his arms up. You choked on laughter for another moment before speaking up.

   "Explains why you didn't let us take the Delicious Deals." Laughter rang out from the group after you spoke.

   "Hilarious! Hysterical!" Eddie said, making faces for each word.

   ◌◌◌

   "Yes, it is a nice watch," Richie said, surveying your wrist. "Anyway, let's talk about the elephant, not in the room. Ben!" Richie paused, for dramatic effect. "What the fuck, man?"

   "Okay, obviously, I lost a few pounds," Ben said, and you snorted.

   "A few!? Dude, you're a new man!" You said, leaning back and crossing your arms behind you on your chair.

   Richie laughed, then spoke up. "No shit you lost a few pounds! You're, like...you're hot! You're like every Brazillian soccer player wrapped up into one person." Richie stated bluntly, and you almost spit out your most recent shot as you laughed.

   Beverly rolled her eyes, then spoke. "Leave him alone. You're embarrassing him."

   "Okay, okay, alright," Ben said, trying to change the subject. "Is Stanley coming or what?"