//Doomed//

12

I sigh again for what must be the hundredth time. An hour. A whole hour. 60 Damn, fucking minutes I've been stuck in this bedroom. That bff and enemy of mine seem to be bonding quite well. An i can't help but feel they're just both purposly doing it to piss me off now. Why else? Why would Matthew want to help out my best friend, all of a sudden and out of the blue? Without anything in it for him. But what? It makes no sense to me. All I've heard for the past half an hour, is laughter and lame jokes being passed to one another.

Damn it, i need to get out of this room. But how? Without the new best pals noticing my quick get away. It's likely that Carl has already told him I'm holding myself hostage in here. Refusing to be in his presence and making a massive fool out of myslef. I'm sure he'll be laughing at me. An I know from the feeling in my stomach, I need to avoid him as much as possible. But i have to risk it. Risk seeing him. Risk him seeing me and surely humiliating me from just one look. I can't stay in here. Plus, i really need to go job hunting. Yes, that can be my excuse for not stopping and chatting...

I grab my phone and bag and quickly head for the door. Feeling nauseous from my sudden movement. This stupid hangover still hasn't passed. I pause, taking in a deep breath. For both my sicky feeling and the panic of having to bump into him again. Well, it obviously isn't a bump. Of course he's purposly planned to have this 'discussion' here. Why the hell is he even helping Carl out? Since when did he care for my best friend? It's bugging me. An I'm really not okay with this. How could i be? After what happened with us. After our... fuck. One nighter?

I yank the door open and scurry for the front door, keeping my head down. Stupidly thinking it somehow makes me seem less visible. "Hey baby girl" i hear Carl shout out from behind me as i stand still at the door. My hand already holding onto the door handle. I brace myself before turning around swiftly on my heels. Already knowing Matthew is there, on the sofa with him as i feel his eyes on me. Making me feel queasy, even more so. I feel his smirk all over me. Making me tense and panic. My breathing quickly becoming out of control.

"Hey" i whisper before turning slowly. Doing everything in my power to keep my eyes away from that scum bag. I surprisingly find it quite easy. And mentally scold myself for making drama and getting myself in a panicked state for nothing. That is, till i hear his chuckle. That i know is aimed at me. To belittle me. To mock me. And probably because of the way I'm acting. But i stick to my guns. No way is this obnoxious, small minded... twit, going to intimidate me anymore. Carl raises his brow at me, in a way to ask what I'm doing. Or more to the point, where I'm going "job hunting" i reply to his look. I fake a big, full teethed smile over at Carl. But Matthew knows it's for his benefit only, in a way to show him I'm okay with what happened with us. To show him it's not bothered me in the slightest... like he may think. Like it really has. The huge smile spread across Matthew's face, slowly begins to vanish. Giving me that brave and powerful feeling over him again. That I seem to love. And he seems to hate.

"Job interview?" Matthew chirps up, cocky like and all of a sudden amused. Throwing his leg over his other from the knee. "Where?" he sits next to Carl, stroking his thumb over the small stuble on his chin. Watching me. Searching for any sign of weakness or panic from me.

"Er- At the erm-" Damn it. Blank mind.

"Oh..." Carl nods, instantly knowing what I'm aiming to do an jumps in to help me "At the, cafe" he grins over at me. In a way to say he's just saved my back.

Oh, jesus christ. I'd rather he'd not bothered. The cafe? What does he think i am!

"My music company not good enough then?" he chuckles under his breath. Even more amused now. How humiliating. Thanks for nothing, Carl.

But I'm still blank. Why can i not think under pressure. Why the hell is this man still having this effect on me. Jesus, I'm usually the queen of lying.

"Erm, yep. That one" i point to Carl with a fake smile. Having no choice but to play along. No way is this man getting the satisfaction of thinking I'm gonna be unsuccessful or a failure because of his status and who he is, and what he owns and does. I take in a deep breath, trying to mentally calm myself down. He's barely said 2 words and he's riling me up. Just from his smug face and attitude.

He may of made a fool out of me last night. Basically getting exactly what he wanted and then seeing me off. But I'm not going to let that bother any more, as of now. I can be strong and power. Everything he claims to be. And even better. I'll show him. I'll prove to him he's had no affect on me. And never will.

I turn back towards the door, grabbing the handle "I'll be back tonight" I tell Carl before heading out quickly. Finally feeling like i can breathe, away from his presence.

I suck in a deep breath of air as soon as I'm out in the busy streets of London. Still attempting to calm myself, trying to get my breathing back to a normal pace. I head off, taking small but quick steps down the path. Pulling my phone out, occupied.. It's all too late, and i don't realise I've walked straight into someone until I'm almost knocked off of my feet.

"Oh shit, I'm so so-" My apology is cut off.

"My fault" a familiar voice speaks, amused.

I bring my gaze up, not able to rid the smile spilling onto my face "Luke!?" i beam. Throwing myself into my ex boyfriend - well,ex fucking buddy.

"Great to see you too" he chuckles into me as we hug in the middle of the street. We pull away slowly, as Luke begins to ask how i am. But my attention quickly darts away from Luke, when it finds Healy, stood frozen. His glare and angry scowl fixed on us.

I take my attention back to Luke, nodding, as though I've heard every word. Plastering a smile across my face, that being for Healy's sake. But then not even aware of my next actions, or why i planned on doing it ... when i pull Luke in for a smut kiss.

But Luke doesn't pull away. He's game.

Nor does Healy move or look away. He's pissed off.

And i love that!