Questions, Answers and Total Randomness

Entry 8)

    Finishing the glass, I drop the cup in the sink to deal with in the morning and return to my lonely bed.

    "I see you at a party and you look the same..."

     I stand quietly in the corner of the party, my dark blue dress pooling around my sparkling low heels, with a  flute of champagne in my hand. RDJ had thrown the celebration for the success of "Endgame." All of the cast are here in their formal finery talking and laughing about the time they had shooting the film. I wasn't part of the cast, but I was a behind-the-scenes worker. I was invited because I am close with the cast.

     As Jeremy Renner moves away from the person he's talking to, my flute falls from my hand and shatters on the floor. Tom looks up, his azure eyes meeting my own before I turn and run from the party, sprinting as quickly as these accursed heels can take me. I have to get away from here.

    "I could take you back, but people don't really change..."

    I slam the door before collapsing against it. The memory of that night playing through my head as though on repeat.

    "Wish that we could go back in time..."

    The guilt floods through me at the images in my mind. The things I'd yelled in his face, the hurt look in his eyes as he'd replied.

    "And I'd be the one you thought you'd find..."

    "Maybe you're not the one for me after all."

    "Love isn't all that it seems, I did you wrong..."

    He'd left right after that, exiting my home and life with only the clothes on his back and not even a goodbye.

    "I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone..."

    He'd promised to stay forever, that he'd never leave me. Yeah. That worked out well.

    "I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night
    Trying to take what's lost and broken, make it right..."

    The pictures in their frames seem to tease me as I walk by them. Mockery gleams from each smiling face.

    "I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire,
    But it's the only place that I can hold you tight..."

    My mind drifts to the dream. The peace of the inferno.

    "In this burning house..."

    It's plain as day. I will never find that kind of peace.

    "The flames are getting bigger now..."

    I find a frayed electrical cord that has been giving me problems. Perfect.

    "In this burning house..."

    The next stop is the liquor cabinet. Reaching inside, I take out a bottle of strong whiskey. It'll do.

    "I can hold on to you somehow..."

    I walk over and turn on the lamp.

    "In this burning house..."

    Bending over the ripped cord, I suck in a deep breath of pure oxygen...

    "Oh and I don't want to wake up..."

    My mind replays the dream. It's not what I envision every night, but it will do the job...

    "In this burning house..."

    I smash the bottle over the exposed wires and jump back. The bulb explodes in the lamp, showering the room in sparks. I laugh as a few fall on my skin. Hot, but not enough to burn me.

    "I've been sleepwalking, been wandering all night
    Trying to take what's lost and broken, make it right..."

    The hollow, lost feeling of the last two years is gone as the fire creeps up the walls and licks up the furniture. I laugh loudly. I'm finally going to be free.

    "I've been sleepwalking, too close to the fire
    But it's the only place that I can hold you tight..."

    I can see Tom standing before me, arms open wide. I run into them, tackling him to the floor as the flames crackle around us. I nuzzle my head into his chest, and close my eyes. My dream is finally a reality.

    "In this burning house..."

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    A/n: Hello readers! I hope you enjoyed this mildly depressing fic. Of course, I don't condone suicide. It's never the answer. If anyone needs to talk, don't be afraid to reach out to me. I'm willing to listen.

    Yours always,

    Blue